Home Again
by unowhoandwhy
Summary: While on a routine mapping expedition the Enterprise comes across a 600 year old Vulcan ship. The survivors they encounter may change Vulcan society forever. This is NOT a slash romance between McCoy & Spock Prime, I promise!
1. Chapter 1

"We are all strangers in a strange land, longing for home, but not quite knowing what or where home is. We glimpse it sometimes in our dreams, or as we turn a corner, and suddenly there is a strange, sweet familiarity that vanishes almost as soon as it comes…" Madeleine L'Engle

_**One**_

_Captain's Log – Personal_

_Today marks the one-year anniversary of the destruction of Vulcan. The _Enterprise_ is currently three months from Earth on an exploration and mapping expedition. We started the day with a small service in remembrance of all those who lost their lives on that day, both on the planet itself and in the rescue ships destroyed by the Romulan Nero. _

_The Vulcan colony has been established with typical Vulcan efficiency on a planet just as high in gravity and heat and low on oxygen and emotion as their former planet. We are…_

"Bridge to Keptin Kirk."

"Kirk here."

"Sair, our long-range sensors have picked up a sheep traveling at Warp Four."

Kirk paused, considered mentioning the possible effects of vacuum on wool and decided to forego the fun in honor of the somber mood of the day, "Any ID, Ensign?"

"Still too far away to determine that, sair, but Mr. Spock adwises that the ship will be close enough for a better scan and possible identification in six minutes."

"On my way."

Kirk grabbed his uniform shirt and tugged it on as he ran for the 'lift. Three months of peaceful mapping and exploration had driven him a little stir crazy. He would never wish for another Nero to come along, of course, but something other than one uninhabited planet after another would be nice. Wherever this ship came from, it was bound to be from somewhere new and, hopefully, exciting.

The doors to the Bridge opened as he was adding a '…but peaceful' to his last thought. "Status, Mr. Spock."

"The ship will be close enough to complete a more thorough scan in two point three minutes, Captain."

Kirk sat in his command chair and waited as patiently as he was able. Which, if he was honest with himself, wasn't very patiently at all.

"Captain, the ship is now within range. The computer is working on identification now." A moment later, Spock drew in a short, sharp breath and quirked an eyebrow at his terminal. He ran his fingers over various dials and screens and his eyebrow remained raised.

"Spock?"

"A moment, Captain. The computer is providing some anomalous information and I am attempting to determine where the error has occurred."

"Anomalous how, Spock?"

"The computer has identified the approaching vessel as one of Vulcan origin."

"Well, that's not so anomalous. Vulcan ships do occasionally go out and explore the universe…"

"The computer has identified this particular ship as one that disappeared six hundred years ago, Captain."

"Oh, well… that is a little… anomalous."

"Indeed. Vulcan ships at that time were incapable of operating at Warp Four. Even if the ship had somehow survived all these centuries, it would not be capable of traveling that fast." Spock continued to work at his terminal, apparently unsuccessful at getting any other response. Kirk turned to Uhura, "Any signals coming from the ship, Lieutenant?"

"No sir, I've been scanning on all frequencies with no response. We'll be within communications range in another minute, shall I hail them?"

"Spock? It would be nice to have a little more to go on when we hail them."

"Onscreen now, Captain."

Everyone on the Bridge turned to the screen as the distant blip resolved into a ship. Details began to resolve themselves as the two ships traveled closer to each other. Spock turned to his terminal one more time. "Captain, that ship is, indeed, the _ShanaiKahr_. I am unable to provide any theories on how it has come to be in this region of space so long after it was declared lost, but there is no doubt on the identification. It is heavily shielded and I am only detecting one life sign."

"But…?"

"The shielding is heavy enough that there could be many more life signs than we could detect."

"Open hailing frequencies, Uhura. Patch me through the translator."

"Aye, Captain."

"This is Captain James T. Kirk of the Federation starship _Enterprise_ calling the Vulcan ship _ShanaiKahr_."

There was silence for a moment and then a cool, dry, feminine voice answered, "This is the Vulcan space vessel _ShanaiKahr_. I am unfamiliar with your Federation, Captain. May I enquire how you have become familiar with my ship?"

"Vulcan is one of the members of the Federation, ma'am. My First Officer was born there. Your ship was in our database, although I will admit to being more than a little curious how it came to be here…" Kirk let his sentence trail off, not sure how to ask about the 600 years the ship had been missing. Vulcans lived longer than humans, it was true, but the woman's voice sounded young, much too young to have lived even half that time, even if it hadn't been impossible for one of them to live that long.

"We have had a most eventful time of it since we left Vulcan, Captain."

"Not to be rude, ma'am, but when you say 'we' do you mean your ancestors or…"

"'We' as in myself and my crew. I am Commander T'an, your records should show me as the captain of record for this vessel."

Kirk looked at Spock, who nodded in confirmation before turning back to his station.


	2. Chapter 2

**Two**

"Well, I'm sure that will be quite a story."

"An exchange of information would be most useful, Captain. My shuttle bay doors have been sealed shut, and I am unable to leave my duty station. A trip to either of our ships from the other would be problematic at best. Perhaps our computers could exchange the relevant information?"

Kirk motioned to Uhura to silence the transmission and turned to Spock. "Are we within range to tell more about that ship yet, Spock?"

"We are, Captain, however the ship is heavily shielded everywhere except the Bridge and I am unable to penetrate the shielding. I am reading only one life sign on the Bridge and it registers as Vulcanoid."

"So we know she's Vulcan, or Romulan, and may or may not be the only one on the ship."

"That is correct. I would suggest offering to beam a landing party to her ship. The transporter technology did not exist when she left Vulcan and she will be unaware that there is an alternate possibility."

Kirk motioned for Uhura to open the hailing frequency again. "Commander, we are able to get to your ship without a shuttle, using a matter transporter. Would that be acceptable?"

"There is limited open space on my ship, so a party of more than three would be too many."

"We'll work up a plan, then, and be in touch in a few minutes. Kirk out"

Kirk turned to his First Officer again, "A trap? Or is she being honest about the cramped conditions?"

"The ShanaiKahr had a crew complement of 325 and the Bridge was 67% the size of Enterprise's Bridge, so the original configuration would allow ample room. Without knowing what modifications may have taken place, I am unable to determine an answer to your question. I…"

Spock froze and his eyes took on a glazed look. "Spock?!" Kirk got up from his command chair and reached out to him. The Vulcan held up a hand to stop him, but remained otherwise motionless.

T'An's mindvoice sounded less dry and far more powerful than her speaking voice, '_I regret this intrusion, Commander, but I have to ensure the safety of my ship. I could not be certain that there was a Vulcan on this ship and that your intentions were peaceful._'

Spock opened up the portions of his mind that would alleviate her concerns and sent the mental invitation, tinged with deep respect for a telepath who could broadcast so powerfully over such a range. He felt her rifling through his memories, being careful to avoid the portions he had marked as private. She withdrew gently and sent a mental image of the _ta'al_ to him. '_Live long and prosper, Commander Spock. My gratitude for allowing this intrusion_.'

'_It was a logical decision, Commander. I would have made the same in your position_.'

'_Your landing party is welcome to beam aboard at any time, Commander. I am unarmed and pose no threat to you or your ship._'

She withdrew the link gently and Spock blinked, returning to himself. The Bridge crew was staring at him in concern. "I am well, Captain. Commander T'An is a powerful telepath and we were communicating our intentions to each other."

"So it is T'an?"

"Indeed, although I do not yet know how it could be so. My scans show that her ship is 627 years old, but her body is past youth but not yet at middle age. The environmental conditions on board are 15 degrees cooler than a Vulcan would find comfortable, but that could be an energy-saving feature. She has granted permission for a landing party to come aboard. I did not sense any deceit on her part, but she is strong enough to hide such a thing from me, especially at this distance."

"So we proceed, but with caution. Let's go meet this lonely Vulcan of yours." Kirk smirked and started walking towards to Bridge doors, but Spock halted him.

"Captain, Commander T'An is unfamiliar with Humans. As a powerful telepath your overly emotional and illogical thoughts could cause her some distress until she is able to shield them. In addition, as a Vulcan she will be immune to your," Spock paused as if the words were distasteful, "particular charms. May I suggest that I beam over alone the first time so that we do not cause an interstellar incident?"

"Spock, I am deeply offended that you… okay, okay, I'll stay behind. But bring McCoy with you. He can scan her to make sure she's healthy and to verify that she is what she says she is."

Spock considered the logical arguments available to him and knew that none of them would change Kirk's mind. At least McCoy would be less likely to cause offense than the overly amorous Captain. He nodded and headed to the Transporter Room.

"Kirk to McCoy."

"McCoy here."

"Bones, I need you to get a medical scanner and meet Spock in the Transporter Room."

"You want me to make sure our mystery ship really does have a 600 year old Vulcan for a captain?"

"Exactly."

"On my way."

Spock contacted Uhura through the Transporter Room intercom, "Please patch me through to the _ShanaiKahr_, Lieutenant."

"T'An here."

"Commander, our Chief Medical Officer and I are ready to beam over, with your permission."

"Permission granted, Commander."

Spock stepped onto the platform and tuned out McCoy's grumblings about nefarious devices scrambling his brains. He had learned over the past year that McCoy would grumble less if he did not get a response from his audience. They rematerialized on the Bridge of the Vulcan ship and Spock held his hand up in the _ta'al_. "Live long and prosper, Commander T'An."

The Vulcan Captain looked to be McCoy's age, which in a Vulcan meant she was anywhere from 30 years of age to one hundred. Her hair was an unusual shade of dark auburn, uncommon in the modern city-dwelling, spacefaring Vulcans, but Spock knew it was common among the members of her clan. Her eyes were a grey so light they appeared silver and she was several inches shorter than McCoy. She was wearing slightly threadbare uniform pants and a heavy sweater. The conditions on the Bridge were even cooler than those on the _Enterprise_ and Spock suppressed a shiver.

She raised her hand and greeted him, "Peace and long life Commander Spock."

"This is our Chief Medical Officer Doctor Leonard McCoy."

She turned to McCoy and saw he was struggling to force his fingers into the Vulcan greeting, "I am unfamiliar with human customs, Doctor. What is considered an acceptable greeting for your species?"

McCoy gave up the finger twisting as a lost cause, "We shake hands, ma'am, but Vulcans aren't generally comfortable with that kind of physical contact. Most Humans aren't telepaths and apparently our unshielded emotions are uncomfortable."

"I am willing to risk it, Doctor. My shields are sufficiently strong for both of us."

McCoy held out his hand to her, and she mirrored the gesture. He took it gently in his own and shook it twice before releasing it, curbing his urge to bow over it, and perhaps kiss it. "Pleased to meet you, ma'am."

"…Pleased to meet you, Doctor."

"May I scan you? We want to make sure we don't have any bugs that could infect you and vice versa. The transporter screens out most things, but you can never be too careful"

"Most logical. You may proceed."

Spock quirked an eyebrow at hearing McCoy called logical, but kept silent.

"You're quite healthy, although your temperature is lot cooler than I would consider usual for a Vulcan. That's understandable given the temperature in here. I'd like to give you an inoculation for a few things, as a precaution, though." He saw her hesitation and assured her, "I am very familiar with Vulcan physiology, ma'am, nothing in this inoculation will cause you any harm."

"Very well." He readied the hypospray and injected her. She turned back to Spock when he was finished, "I am sure you have many questions for me Commander."

"Indeed. Your ship was declared lost with all hands 608 years ago, yet you do not appear to be more than ten years older than the last known image of you."

"That is because I am only 9.35 years older than I was at the time of our last transmission to Vulcan. The ship was caught in a spatial anomaly three hours after that transmission. We lost consciousness and awoke six hours later in an unfamiliar section of space. We had somehow traveled far beyond our ability to return home in our lifetimes.

"To this day we have been unable to determine the exact nature of the anomaly. Some of our records and sensor logs were damaged in the trip and seven members of my crew died. We made the decision to return to Vulcan, rather than settling on an uninhabited planet, and began to modify the ship. Over the years various other modifications were made, to allow us to reach a cruising speed of Warp Four, which cut our travel time down significantly, but not to such an extent that it was within a Vulcan's lifetime.

"Additional modifications were made to the ship to convert crew quarters into cold sleep chambers. We found an uninhabited planet rich in natural resources and our shuttle bay was sealed shut to allow us to store the raw materials we needed for the trip."

Spock interrupted her, fighting to control his emotional response to the idea that any of her crew had survived. Even if only a small percentage had survived such an extended time in cold sleep, it would still be a significant addition to the sadly depleted Vulcan population, "You are not the only survivor, then?"

"No, it is merely my turn on watch. We each took two years on a rotation of all the crew. In all, our surviving crew numbers 300."

Spock was unable to completely control the joy he felt at such news. An additional 300 Vulcans, in a race that numbered a mere 10,000, could help make the difference between extinction and survival. T'An quirked her eyebrow at him, "I believe it is time for you to tell me some of the things you concealed from me during my mind touch. The news that a mere 300 of us have survived should not, logically, produce such a strong reaction from either of you."

Spock looked at McCoy, who was grinning from ear to ear and nearly dancing with excitement. "It was not news to give other than face to face, Commander. Vulcan was destroyed 365 days ago and all but 10,000 of us perished."

T'An's serene face became rigid as she attempted to process the news without an emotional reaction. McCoy realized what was so different about her expression compared to Spock's. Where Spock's face showed what Kirk referred to as his 'Vulcan mask' and was generally tight with control, T'An's face had been smooth and serene. Not so much emotional control as peace with herself and the universe around her.

"For crying out loud, Spock, you could have broken the news a little more gently. Are you all right, Commander? Do you need to sit down or…?"

He could see her fight for control and regain it, although the earlier serenity was gone. "Drawing out the story would not have changed the outcome, Doctor. Commander Spock made the logical decision to tell me. I admit that I am having difficulty grasping the concept… how many billions died?"

"Just over 6 billion, ma'am."

She closed her eyes briefly and fought for control again, speaking softly, almost to herself. "To have strived for so long to reach home, only to find that we are homeless members of an endangered species is most… distressing. I will have to meditate for a long time to regain my Mastery after this news."

"You aren't exactly homeless, ma'am. There is a small but thriving Vulcan colony on a new world, where I am sure you and your crew will be a most welcome addition to the population. It's not Vulcan, but it is very similar. Finding you and your crew today of all days seems almost as if it was fate."

"I do not understand your reasoning, Doctor."

"Doctor McCoy is referring to the fact that it has been one of his species' years to the day since Vulcan was destroyed. The humans are prone to holding memorials and marking anniversaries. A most illogical waste of time and energy, but Humans are not known for their logic."

"How did it happen?"

Spock stepped towards her, "A mind meld would be a more effective exchange of information, Commander, if you are willing. I will not conceal any relevant information from you this time."

She nodded her assent and they touched each other's faces, sinking quickly into a deeper meld than she had been willing or able to engage in from afar.


	3. Chapter 3

**Three**

Spock was considered to have a strong talent when it came to melds, but either T'An was unusually gifted or Vulcans had lost much in the last 600 years. '_I suspect it is a little of both_,' he heard her say, as she was rifling through his public memories at a rate he had not thought possible. He felt her dump a large amount of information into his own brain and then wait for him to process it.

As he was going through the memories she had left with him, she said, '_I had wondered what your clan name was, given that you share a name with the brother of he who was my husband. We have a common ancestor on your father's side. And your mother was a Human?'_

'_Yes_.'

'_Fascinating. I would be curious to know more of this, if it would not be a violation of your privacy to enquire further.'_

Spock opened a more private portion of his memories to her, but she sensed his hesitation_, 'When we have known each other longer, perhaps we could discuss this, but for now there are more pressing matters.'_

He was unable to completely conceal his relief. His childhood had been a difficult one and he had always been an intensely private person. Respect for her status as an elder, had been the only reason he agreed to satisfying her curiosity.

She withdrew her mind from his and he realized that only seventeen seconds had been required for the exchange. Even McCoy hadn't had time to become impatient. They stepped back from each other and Spock continued to process what he had learned from her. It would take some time before he could articulate what he learned, but since the Captain would no doubt want to be briefed when he returned, he had sufficient time.

"I have much to think about, and I am sure that your Captain wants to be briefed on the situation. Perhaps we could adjourn for a few hours, unless there was anything else?"

"Do you require anything at this time? We could start modifying your ship to provide enough power to raise the temperature, or increase your speed, or provide enough supplies so that your crew can be woken from cold sleep."

"Before I choose to accept anything from you, I must decide what is best for my crew. It would be illogical to decline your assistance, but I must have some time to decide what assistance would be acceptable. Also, it has been a long time since I have had any company but my own thoughts and I find myself having… difficulties adjusting."

"Of course. We will return to our ship and brief the Captain. Contact us when you have made your decision."

McCoy turned to her, "Are you sure there isn't anything we can do for you now? I don't feel right just leaving you alone so soon after we got here."

"There is no need for concern Doctor, but… perhaps there is something you could do."

"You name it."

"I understand that there is a common language used in your Federation, do you perhaps have access to materials that would assist me in learning it? Relying on a mechanical translation device for an extended period of time, no matter how sophisticated the technology, is bound to cause more problems than it solves."

"I have some dream tapes that I can modify for you, I'll have them beamed over in about an hour."

She inclined her head to him in acknowledgement and Spock contacted the _Enterprise_. McCoy's last view of her as he faded from her ship showed her sinking into her command chair wearily.

As they materialized on the transporter platform, McCoy turned to Spock, "How could you just leave her there like that?! Damnit Spock, she's been running that ship by herself for years and obviously needs a break! She's a Vulcan, not Superwoman!"

"I cannot force her to accept our assistance, Doctor. Since she has been handling her ship by herself for nearly two years now on this current rotation, a few more hours won't make a difference. May I suggest that you return to Sick Bay and prepare the one item she was willing to accept?"

"You cold-blooded…" McCoy cut his tirade short as Spock exited the transporter room and left him without an object on which to vent his frustrations. He stormed out of the room, muttering about damn stubborn Vulcans not changing much in 600 years.

Spock walked onto the Bridge and over to Kirk. "Well, Spock, the suspense is killing me. What's going on with that ship?"

"It is indeed the _ShanaiKahr_, Captain. They encountered a spatial anomaly that flung them into a far region of space and have been traveling back towards Vulcan since then. They modified the ship for cold sleep and most of the crew is still alive and less than ten years older than when they disappeared."

"How many?!"

"Three hundred Vulcans, Captain, none older than early middle age."

Kirk resisted the urge to grab Spock and celebrate the way he would have with a Human friend, "That's fantastic news! Another 300 will really help that colony grow! So, what do we need to do to get them home as fast as we can?"

"Commander T'An is working through the possibilities open to her and will let us know as soon as she has made a decision. Until then, I need to contact Vulcan High Command and make them aware of the situation."

"But what can we… do now, Spock, we can't just sit around and wait!"

Knowing how much Kirk hated to just sit back and do nothing, Spock suggested, "Perhaps you could set up a briefing so that I only have to relay the information I obtained once?"

"Uhura, let the senior officers know there will be a briefing in…"

"Thirty minutes will be sufficient, Captain."

"Thirty minutes."

"Aye, Captain."

In Sick Bay McCoy had just finished fine-tuning the dream tape when Kirk wandered in, "You ready for the briefing, Bones?"

"I'm a doctor not a paper-chasing bureaucrat, Jim. But, since I'm dying to know the whole story I guess I'll have to be there."

"Are you going deaf, senile, or both in your old age, Bones?"

"What?! No, there was nothing to hear or remember. They did some speedy mind meld thing and exchanged stories by osmosis or however it works with them."

"So what is our 600 year old Vulcan captain like, anyway?"

"She's too old and too Vulcan for you, Jim, so just forget it."

"C'mon, Bones, Spock said she wasn't more than ten years older than she was when they disappeared, so she can't be that old. Besides, I love beautiful women of all ages, and she must be pretty lonely after all those years so far from home."

McCoy rolled his eyes at this typical response. Once he was officially promoted to Captain, Kirk had behaved himself pretty well with his crew, but he would never completely change. The thought of a woman who wasn't under his command being so close and yet so far away must drive him crazy.

Even after a short acquaintance McCoy was sure that T'An would have no trouble handling Kirk, and it was sure to provide some entertainment for everyone else, so he just smiled and kept his mouth shut. "I just need to drop this off in the transporter room and then I'll meet you in the Briefing Room. T'An asked for help with learning the language so we don't have to rely on translators, or on Spock, to communicate."

"Already on a first name basis, eh. Bones? Is that why you warned me off, you trying to claim first dibs, you old dog?"

McCoy whirled towards him, about to provide a real tongue-lashing to the irrepressible captain for not knowing when to draw a line, but stopped when he saw the enormous grin Kirk flashed at him.

"That's not funny, Jim. She's a Vulcan, they don't handle things like that the way we do."

"Spock doesn't seem to…"

"Spock's half Human and his personal life is none of our business. Now, if you're finished acting like a hormone-addled teenager, I have work to do."

McCoy stalked out of Sick Bay, leaving Kirk to stare bemusedly after him.

In the Briefing Room, the assembled officers waited for Spock to speak. They had all tried to learn what they could about the Vulcan ship, but the database was even less informative than usual when it came to Vulcan affairs. They were a notoriously private race and released any but scientific information only rarely. The sole reference anyone had been able to find was the ship's name, that it had been on a thirty-year exploratory mission, and had disappeared without a trace.

"The _ShanaiKahr_ was a Vulcan science vessel, the most advanced ever built at the time. It was twenty-six point three years into a thirty-year exploratory mission when it missed a scheduled contact with Vulcan. After another three months with no contact from the ship, another vessel was dispatched to their last known location. No trace of the ship was ever found and its disappearance has remained one of Vulcan's biggest mysteries. Numerous expeditions have searched the areas where it was last seen, without ever gathering enough information to even attempt to formulate possible theories about what happened."

"Until today," Kirk interjected.

"That is correct. The ship was caught in some type of spatial anomaly three hours after they sent their last message to Vulcan and was transported far from any charted region of space. The ship sustained damage during the event and the crew was unable to determine the exact nature of what occurred.

"A decision was made to modify the ship for cold sleep and chart a course back to Vulcan. The _ShanaiKahr_ was crewed by scientists and talented engineers, so modifications were made over the years as each member of the crew served their two-year watch.

"This resulted in an increase in cruising speed from Warp Two to Warp Four and reduced their travel time by several centuries. Even with those modifications, it has taken them 608 years to get this far. With a few more modifications, we should be able to allow them to reach the Vulcan colony in two months, possibly less."

"That estimate lacks your usual precision, Spock, you feeling okay?"

Spock ignored the Captain's jibe and continued, "I have not had a chance to inspect the _ShanaiKahr_'s engines or speak to Mr. Scott, so I am unable to make an exact determination. Once I have done so, I will be able to make a more precise estimate.

"The exact nature of assistance that Commander T'An will accept has not been determined. She will be contacting us shortly to discuss that with the Captain."

"I'm willing to offer her anything she needs, Spock," Kirk winked at McCoy, who very visibly, and uncharacteristically, bit his tongue. "Actually, I think we should provide an escort. There's some disputed territory between here and the Vulcan colony and I wouldn't want anything to happen so close to the end of a long voyage."

"Not to mention that you're bored silly with this mapping mission… Captain, sir," said Uhura.

"It's the least we can do to get these Vulcans home where they belong, any other factors are just a bonus. Now, I want all department heads to work on some general possibilities for assisting Commander T'An. As soon as we have more detailed information, and hopefully an invitation to inspect the ship, I'll let you all know. Dismissed."

Kirk stopped McCoy on the way out, "You okay, Bones? You seem a little upset."

"I'm fine, just busy."

"I'm sorry about the cracks I made, I was just joking. If you…"

"You're just being yourself, Jim, I should be used to it by now. I guess there's just something about a damsel in distress that brings out the southern gentleman in me."

"Well, I promise to… try and behave myself."

"Don't hurt yourself, Jim," McCoy shot back as he left the room.


	4. Chapter 4

**Four**

Just as Kirk and his senior staff returned to the Bridge, they received a hail from the Vulcan ship, "Captain, perhaps we could arrange a meeting to formulate a plan?"

"Absolutely, we're glad to help however we can. Let me know what's a good time for you."

There was a pause and then she replied dryly, "My schedule appears to be open for some time, Captain."

Kirk looked around the Bridge, wondering if he was the only one who thought that sounded like a Vulcan making a joke. From the quizzical looks on everyone's faces, he wasn't alone. Without any video capabilities, though, it was impossible to tell. "We can come over any time, Commander. My senior staff was about to start working on some options, but a tour of the ship and any information you can provide would be helpful."

"I am sending the schematics over now, including the list of modifications we made during our journey. You have permission to come aboard at any time, Captain."

"We'll be there in ten minutes."

"T'An out."

"Uhura, could you take a look at their comm system and see about getting video working?" Kirk called down to Engineering, "Scotty, I need you to meet us in the Transporter Room in five minutes, we're headed over to the _ShanaiKahr_ to evaluate the situation."

"Gladly, Captain. I can't wait to get inside their engine room."

Kirk switched to Sick Bay, "Bones, Transporter Room in five minutes. I'll need you to work with Spock on evaluating the Vulcan crew in cold sleep."

"Are we going to wake them up?"

"No idea, Bones, that's why I want you to check things out."

"On my way."

Kirk turned to Sulu, "You have the conn, Mr. Sulu," he said as he got up from his command chair and walked out, Uhura and Spock following behind.

When the five officers beamed over, T'An was waiting for them. Kirk's ta'al was much better than McCoy's had been and T'An returned the greeting. Kirk introduced his officers and Uhura executed a flawless salute and rendered the greeting in Vulcan, "_Dif-tor heh smusma__**, **__Ang'jmizn T'An_"

"_Sochya eh dif__**, **__Ot-lan Uhura__**.**_"

Scotty stared helplessly at his hand for a moment and then waved it at her, "Nice to meetcha, Commander. It's a lovely ship you have here."

"He has served us well for far longer than anyone could have expected. An honorable retirement is long overdue." T'An turned back to the group, "This is the largest available space left on the ship. You may seat yourselves at the crew stations if you like."

"We can always meet on the _Enterprise_."

"This ship was designed to run with a crew of 325, Captain. It has been modified as much as possible to be automated, but I cannot leave."

"We can work on getting some of my crew trained to help you, if you'd like, or assist with waking your own crew from cold sleep."

"It would be best for my crew if I did not wake them until we reached the Vulcan colony, Captain. Waking so many all at once, and with news that we are an endangered species and the home we worked so long and diligently to reach is gone forever, would go more smoothly there.

She continued, "Any modifications you could make to my ship to shorten the journey, however, would be most appreciated."

They got down to the business of arranging all the details. Kirk eventually returned to the Enterprise, leaving Uhura to work on getting visual communications working. Spock and McCoy walked through the ship to make sure the crew was still healthy, and T'An escorted Scotty down to the Engine Room. She had trained as an engineer and they were well into technical dialogue that kept the translator working overtime before the doors to the Bridge shut behind them.

Uhura quickly set up the visual communications and then tried to hail the Engine Room. None of the circuits seemed to work and she used her own communicator instead, "Uhura to Scott."

"Scott here."

"Scotty, could you let Commander T'An know that I have restored visual communications. It looks like the intraship communications are down, I can start restoring that if she agrees."

T'An's voice came on a moment later, "Unless your people need it, Commander, it would be more efficient to leave it disabled. It was one of the first things we dismantled when we needed spare parts. On a ship full of telepaths, it was illogical to maintain a redundant system."

"I'll get an extra communicator for you, then, so we can remain in contact."

"_Lesekm, Ot-lan Uhura_."

"You're welcome, Commander. And please call me Nyota."

"Only if you will call me T'An."

"My pleasure, T'An."

Spock and McCoy finished their tour in the Engine Room, where they found Scotty and T'An working on the engines. The doctor took one look at T'An's pale, tired face and decided to make sure everyone called it a night. "I think that's enough for one day, everyone. We can meet back here after a good night's rest."

"Doctor…" Spock began to protest.

McCoy turned to him and whispered angrily, "Look at her Spock. She was exhausted when we beamed over the first time and it's been a long day. We can continue this in the morning."

He turned back to T'An, "I know you can't leave the ship, ma'am, but how would you like me to bring some supplies back here for you. I'm sure your stores have been depleted pretty badly by now."

"While the reconstituted protein cubes contain adequate nutrition, the lack of taste does wear on one over the years."

"A hot meal it is."

Spock thought about all the other things that would have caused discomfort over those years and added, "We will have food and clothing synthesizers brought over for you tomorrow. Once we have updated your power output, we will be able to adjust your environmental controls as well."

"That would be most appreciated, Commander. As you can see by my unorthodox uniform, we have not had the resources for such things."

McCoy turned to T'An, "Is there anything in particular you would like to eat, ma'am?"

"So long as it is suitable for Vulcans and hot, I have no other preference."

"I'll be back soon, then."

She inclined her head gracefully and watched as they transported out. When they were gone, she leaned wearily against the wall for a moment, composed herself once again, and then headed back to the Bridge. McCoy beamed back a few minutes later and gave her a tray loaded with food.

"Will you join me, Doctor McCoy?"

"No thank you, ma'am, I need to go check on my patients. I'll se you tomorrow morning."

"Rest well, Doctor."

"You too, ma'am."

The next morning when McCoy beamed over with breakfast, T'An greeted him in slow but perfect Federation Standard.

"You know those tapes are supposed to be used over the course of a week or so, right? Using them all in one night is a bit much, even for a Vulcan."

"I had nothing else planned, Doctor McCoy."

"Please, ma'am, there's no need to be so formal. Most everyone calls me Bones, but Leonard is fine."

"If you agree to call me T'An, not ma'am or Commander. May I enquire, what does the name Bones signify?"

"Well, most people think it has something to do with 'Sawbones,' an old name for a doctor. But, it's actually something Jim… Captain Kirk, started calling me when we first met."

She waited for more explanation, but he left it at that. He was an intensely private man to begin with, and discussing his painful and bitter divorce wasn't the topic of conversation he would bring up with a woman, especially an attractive woman from a race that bonded for life.

He watched her start eating, "So… how long has it been since you slept? Last night when you used those dream tapes doesn't count."

"I sleep every day, Leonard."

"For how long each time?"

"A few hours at most. Vulcans are capable of going for long periods of…"

"Hogwash!"

She quirked an eyebrow at him and he continued, "That's meant to be a temporary solution, not a standard of living for two years at a time! You can take all the catnaps you want, that doesn't mean they are doing you any good. Even Vulcans need some good, deep REM sleep.

"T'An, I understand that you had limited resources and were a very long way from home, doing the best you could, but you have allies now and you don't have to do everything yourself. So, the first thing we're going to take care of is getting some crewmembers trained to handle your ship and then you're going to take at least a week's vacation. On the _Enterprise_, not here."

She began to protest and he cut her off, "Doctor's orders, and no one has the authority to countermand them, so don't bother." He smiled at her to take any sting out of his words. "We have a good crew, they'll treat your ship well, I promise."

"I will respect your authority as a doctor, Leonard, but perhaps we can come to a compromise about this."

"A compromise?"

"I will agree to your conditions, but only if I am allowed an additional week after your crew is trained, before I take any time away from my ship. I will agree to accept a light duty schedule during that time."

"You have yourself a deal," he held out his hand, remembered she was a Vulcan, and then withdrew it again.

"Is this how your people seal a bargain, Leonard?" she held out her hand to him and he took it in his own. She met his gaze with her silvery eyes and he smiled, shook her hand, and reluctantly released it. She continued to look at him for a moment longer, then turned back to her breakfast.


	5. Chapter 5

Five

"So, would you like something for that headache?"

"Headache?"

"The one I knew overindulging in those language tapes would give you. I came prepared," he held up a hypospray and grinned at her.

She quirked an eyebrow at him, "Indeed? I must be more tired than I thought if my control is slipping enough to be that obvious."

"Actually, it was just a guess, an educated one based on what I know about you stubborn Vulcans, of course."

Her eyebrow remained up and her eyes warmed in what he was starting to recognize as her version of a smile. "I believe the correct response would be, 'Thank you,' yes?"

He injected the headache remedy and grinned at her, "You are most welcome."

"You have a lot of experience with modern Vulcans?"

"A fair amount. We took on quite a few refugees when Vulcan was destroyed, and I've known Spock for over a year now."

"May I ask you a question?"

"Of course, you can ask me anything."

"Vulcan has been a part of your Federation for a long time, and yet there is very little information in your database about it. I found general information and scientific research, but nothing about what life is like there. I couldn't even find much information about my ship and crew, yet Spock told me that it is quite a well-known story. Although I can surmise why there is not much information about my crew, I find it perplexing to find so little information about any other aspects of Vulcan life and history."

"Well, Vulcans are a pretty private people, so they don't share as much information as some other species do. I'm sure that they think humans share too much, so perhaps it evens out. Why would you expect not to find anything about your crew?"

"We are most likely a source of… embarrassment for them."

"Because they couldn't find you? That's not really embarrassing, even a Vulcan wouldn't think to look that far away for a missing ship."

"I thought that Spock briefed all of you on my ship and crew, did he not mention why we were on such a lengthy mission?"

"He didn't. I guess we all just assumed you were part of a deep-space exploration team."

A small line appeared between her two perfectly shaped eyebrows and she started to say something, then stopped. Finally, he could see her work to regain her earlier serenity. "I find it most disconcerting that my people are your partners and allies, yet they share so little information about themselves. We are a reserved race who values our privacy, but things have changed a great deal more than I thought they had over the centuries."

"Is it something you want to talk about? I'm all ears."

"All ears?"

"Ah, if you'll pardon the expression, of course. It just means I'm a good listener, it has nothing to do with the size of someone's…er… ears."

"Perhaps you should turn your translator back on; I do not think I have enough fluency to explain this in your language."

She waited for him to do so and then continued, "It was an honorable thing that my crew and I chose to do, and we have paid a price far beyond a mere thirty years of exile for that choice. When we left Vulcan we felt we had no other honorable option open to us. We could have chosen to colonize another planet, of course, but there were not enough of us to make a genetically viable colony even if we were not all from just four clans.

"We were part of a group that disagreed with the majority of our people on interpreting Surak's words. In the past, others who had disagreed had chosen to leave and start again. Our differences were not so great as to require that, but discussions became rather tense and heated for a time. We knew that we did not have a chance of converting a majority to our way of thinking, yet we could not remain silent about our convictions.

"We feared that this would cause a split in our society that could never be repaired and had no interest in making matters worse than we felt they already were. I had just returned from the _ShanaiKahr_'s shakedown voyage. At the time, I was serving as Chief Engineer. Those of us who felt that we could not remain silent volunteered to crew the ship for a deep space exploration mission. Thirty years is not such a long time for a Vulcan and we believed that all would benefit from some time apart.

"I was chosen as the commander of the mission, in part because I was the one with the most experience on a ship. The young children were left behind with their elders and we set out, never expecting to be parted from them for so long. Our mission was nearly complete when we were caught up in the anomaly. We had just started to look forward to returning home. We had made the decision to keep our convictions private when we returned, at least until such time as revealing them would not cause an irrevocable rift."

She paused and McCoy spoke up, "You're dissidents?! Rebels?! I didn't realize Vulcans had that sort of thing!"

"We don't all believe exactly the same thing Leonard, although generally our differences are respected and we rejoice in our diversity. It is only in interpreting the words of Surak that we seem to be unable to agree to disagree."

"You don't act that different from Spock, although you're a lot more willing to talk about personal things than he is. What is so different about your philosophy that you had to leave your world for thirty years?"

"Most Vulcans of my time, and apparently of the current age as well, believe that Surak wanted us to repress and control our emotions. We believe that when he spoke of the Mastery of the Passions that he meant just that. That we should master our passions so that they did not become our master."

McCoy looked at her, perplexed, "I'm sorry; I just don't see the difference."

"To a non-Vulcan I am sure it seems like a small difference. To us, however, it is a completely different way of living our lives and following the teachings of Surak. An irreconcilable difference, unfortunately. Once we rejoin Vulcan society, we will have to see what the prevailing attitude is and decide whether to quietly live our different lives or become more vocal again."

"See which way the wind blows before you jump in?"

She quirked an eyebrow, "Your language has the most fascinating colloquialisms, Leonard."

"Oh, that's nothin', you should hear me when I get all southern."

"When you…?"

"If I start talkin' 'bout bein' happier than a pig in a waller, you'll get the idea what that means."

"I look forward to the experience."

She continued to look intently at him, and he blushed and looked away. He had noticed her direct gaze earlier, but was sure it didn't mean the same thing with a Vulcan that it would have with a single human woman.

"Are you all right, Leonard? Have I done something to upset you or violate a cultural taboo?"

"No, no, no… I just… it's not that, it's just a little of that cultural diversity we were just discussing."

"You are flushed, has something made you ill?"

"No. This is what humans call a blush. I thought I was much too old for one, but apparently not. You haven't done anything to make me ill or upset. It's just that humans don't usually hold eye contact for as long as Vulcans seem to, except in certain cases. If you were a human woman and you looked at me that directly for so long it would indicate, umm… well, a special kind of interest, especially when it is between two single people…"

"Sexual interest?"

He blushed and stammered, "Ummm… well… ahem… I didn't want to say it so plainly, but yes."

"Why not? Is it something that human men and women do not discuss with each other?"

"We do, sometimes, but you're a Vulcan and…" he trailed off, not sure where to go from that point.

"Leonard, I'm a Vulcan, not a virgin. I lived with my husband almost as long as you have been alive."

"Ah, well… ahem…" he sputtered a bit more. He and his ex-wife had been childhood sweethearts and after his train wreck of a divorce, he had been too bitter about women in general to have much experience with this sort of conversation.

"I apologize for not understanding the cultural difference. I will remember it in the future, as I would not wish to indicate interest where none lies."

"No apologies necessary, T'An, I was sure you didn't realize."

"I do understand now, thank you," her eyes twinkled and she held his gaze a few moments longer than was necessary, then looked away, the ghost of a smile on her face.


	6. Chapter 6

_Author's Note: Sorry about the lack of updates, it's been a crazy few weeks. This is a very short chapter, but I wanted to post something, even if it wasn't nearly enough. Thank you all for reading!_

**Six**

The next day, Kirk, Spock & McCoy joined T'An on the bridge of her ship. With his usual precision and attention to detail, Spock started to discuss the upgrades they would be making. Kirk interrupted what was bound to be a long monologue and said, "We can make your engines slightly more efficient than they are now, but without a dry dock we won't be able to adapt your engines to run on dilithium, which means no faster than Warp 5. That will still cut the trip down to about 8 weeks."

McCoy saw Spock open his mouth and cut in, "It isn't much faster than you were able to go without our help, but at least you don't have to worry about power consumption and supplies anymore."

"My gratitude for all of your help, especially with the power consumption. This is the first time I have been warm since we were pulled through the anomaly. Having company for the end of the journey is also much appreciated."

"How has my crew been doing over here?"

"They are learning the quirks of my ship quickly, Captain, and that is no easy task."

"I'm sure it is much easier now that we've labeled everything in Standard. Vulcan isn't a required course at the Academy, so there are only a few crew members who speak it. They've appreciated the challenge, especially since this mapping expedition was completely uneventful until you showed up."

"Doing so has allowed me to become more proficient in your written language, Captain, so it has been beneficial for me as well."

"Please, Commander, call me Jim."

McCoy, who had learned to read T'An fairly well the last few days, saw the battle she fought between her inbred Vulcan politeness and her lack of interest in doing any such thing. Good manners won out, as they always did with a Vulcan, and she offered him her name again in return.

Kirk turned on the charm at that point and, seeing the quickly hooded look in T'An's eyes, McCoy realized she had no interest in getting all that familiar with Kirk. He was glad to see that Uhura wasn't the one woman in the galaxy who was immune to the charismatic Captain.

McCoy stayed behind when the other two beamed back over, "Have you had lunch yet?" Her eyes warmed as she looked at him, and he felt an answering warmth stir in his heart.

"Thank you, Leonard, I would like that. I didn't want to take you from your duties, but delayed my own meal in case you were free."

"It's my duty and my pleasure to make sure you are healthy and adjusting well to all this. But even if it weren't my duty, it would still be my pleasure."

"Mine as well." They looked at each other for a moment and McCoy cursed the silly grin he couldn't seem to keep off his face. Her eyes twinkled and one corner of her mouth twitched before she turned away. "We managed to clear out a room to use as an office, perhaps we could eat there."

"And leave the crew all by themselves?"

"The room is right off the Bridge, so I will be readily available if they need me."

As they ate, they talked of many things. McCoy brought the conversation around to Kirk as soon as he could, "May I ask you something? I don't want to offend you, or…"

"Leonard, I have already told you several times that I will take no offense at any question you might ask me," she held his gaze and made sure he heard the emphasis on 'you.'

"You didn't seem to have any problems dropping the titles with Uhura and Spock and I, so I was curious why you seemed so reluctant to call Jim by his first name, even after he's made several requests."

"Are you sure you have no talent for telepathy, Leonard? You seem to read me better than many of the telepaths I know."

"No, no, nothing like that. I'm just an old country doctor who treats a starship full of heroes and alpha males and females. They would rather die than admit to being hurt or sick, so I got pretty good at reading body language. Yours is pretty subtle, so don't worry that you've lost your Vulcan touch and are broadcasting what you're thinking to anyone with your body language."

"I am gratified to hear it. After so long alone, I thought I might have picked up mannerisms that I hadn't noticed. And yes, you are right, I am reluctant to become so familiar with your captain. It seems to me that he is one to take a small offering and perhaps try to make it more."

"We say, 'Give an inch and they'll take a mile,' and he might, yes. He's not used to being without female companionship for so long. But, he would never push too far or make objectionable advances on a woman who wasn't interested. He'll try to change your mind, but nothing more."

"I have known many men like him and they hold no fascination with me on that level. They do make good friends and companions once they no longer see you in that manner, though. He who was my husband and your captain share many qualities. Both fine men, intelligent and charismatic, but they make far better friends than husbands in my opinion."

"Darlin' if you want to play the 'My Former Spouse is Worse Than Yours' game, have I got a story for you!"

She quirked an eyebrow at him and this time both sides of her mouth twitched. "I did not mean to imply that Sadak was a terrible husband. He and I worked well together and he gave his life selflessly to save others in our crew. It was an important alliance between our two families, agreed on not long after we were born, though. Now that I am free to choose, it will not be another one such as he."

She stopped for a moment, "I surprise you with my candor?"

"Yes, Vulcans… well, the Vulcans I've known before I met you, they're the most private and close-mouthed people I've met when it comes to personal things."

"We generally are, but those I grew up with are never so among friends and family. I hope I do not presume too much to count you in that category?"

He found himself trying to wipe that damned silly grin off his face again, "Not at all."

"Now, about this game you mentioned…"

For the first time ever, he found himself talking about the woman who betrayed him, broke his heart and made it impossible for him to even share a planet with her. He might joke and make light of what had happened when he was around his shipmates and friends, but the crusty and carefree exterior hid a hurt that went far deeper than he would ever admit, even to himself.


	7. Chapter 7

**Seven**

A week later, T'An felt that the _Enterprise_ crew members were trained well enough for her to leave her ship, even for a short time. She was sure they were as competent and capable as they seemed, but with so much at stake, after so long, she was unable to feel comfortable leaving their fate in anyone else's hands.

'_Come now_,' she thought to herself, '_you know perfectly well that you are what the humans call a control freak and you just can't bear the thought that someone else is as capable as you are_.'

McCoy stepped up next to her, "You ready?"

"As much as I will ever be."

"McCoy to _Enterprise_, two to beam over."

As the transporter effect took shape, her eyes widened. He still couldn't get used to the idea of having his atoms scrambled, but for someone who hadn't grown up with the technology available it must have been quite an experience.

As they materialized in the transporter room moments later, he turned to see her reaction. She was very carefully controlling her features, but her eyes were widened in amazement. "The things I could have accomplished if I had access to this technology," she exclaimed. "Just think of all the time we could have saved when we were uploading raw materials for our long journey alone would have been significant."

Before she could start working the numbers in her head, he interrupted, "I try not to think about that infernal machine much at all, thank you. It's unnatural to have your atoms scrambled like that. I'd be much happier if we could all go back to a much simpler mode of transportation. I was botn with two perfectly good feet and I am quite happy using them."

"It is a very long walk from here back to your home planet, Leonard. Perhaps that mode of transportation isn't quite as convenient as you seem to think."

Still not sure how to handle a Vulcan who cracked jokes, he just continued to grumble about the good ole days. Amused, she let him to continue. She had learned quickly that it was his way of handling things that made him nervous and of dealing with stress. He might put on an old country doctor air, but he was a very intelligent man and firmly rooted in his own century. From what little she had observed, he was also very good at his job and the crew valued him. A good ship's healer was as important to the health and welfare of the crew as life support and a purpose to their life. If they felt they could trust their doctor to take care of them after some emergency or tragic event, then they found the before and during far easier to handle.

He hefted the bag he had insisted she allow him to carry into a better position on his shoulder. There wasn't much in it, since most of her clothes were coming from the Enterprise's matter fabricators now, but no matter how light the bag was, it was the thought that counted. And a man like Leonard McCoy thought that no matter how wonderfully and amazingly equal women had proven themselves to be, it was still his responsibility to carry their bags, open the door and throw raincoats over puddles before they stepped in them. The doors might open themselves these days, but that wasn't the point. And just because this particular woman could probably throw him into a puddle across the room without straining herself just made things more interesting.

He showed her the guest quarters and left her to settle in for a bit while he checked in with Sickbay. There hadn't been much for him to do lately, which is why he had been able to spend so much time helping T'An to adjust to life in this century. 'Be _honest, Leonard_,' he said to himself, '_you'd find a reason to do that no matter how busy you were._' He tried not to think about his reasons for that, but it seemed to be almost the only thing he did think about these days. A good old fashioned crush was harmless enough, generally, but not when the object of that crush was the sole representative of an alien culture from six centuries ago, one that had long ago learned to control their emotions. At that point, it was folly bordering on lunacy. And yet…

He shook himself, as if the physical act would work on his traitorous brain as well. '_Don't go there, Leonard_,' he told himself. '_Stop obsessing about the pretty Vulcan lady… the beautiful, intelligent, funny and completely desirable Vulcan lady, and for god's sake, stop talking to yourself!_'

He returned to the guest quarters and rang the chime, "You ready for that tour I promised you?"

"Yes, thank you."

"We'll end the tour in Engineering, I'm sure that's where you'll want to spend the most time."

"I do miss my days as Chief Engineer. I look forward to catching up on the advances since we left Vulcan so that I can once again be an engineer and not an administrator."

"You don't like being the captain of a starship?"

"It has nothing to do with like or dislike, Leonard. I was given the position because I was the most qualified of all the crew members. I have done my best at it since that day. But, there hasn't been a day when I wouldn't rather have been in the engine room where I belong."

"I feel the same way about Sickbay. I tease Jim a lot about his job being so easy he just has to sit in that command chair and look good, but I wouldn't trade jobs with him for anything in the universe."

"Some people were born to be leaders. I think Captain Kirk is one of those. I am most definitely not."

"You seem to have done alright for yourself and your crew in the last 600 years, I can't think of anyone else who could say that."

"I did what I had to, to fulfill my duty and keep my crew safe. But, it is not something I enjoyed. A natural leader would not only enjoy doing it, they would thrive on it."

"Speaking of born leaders, I think Jim's expecting us on the Bridge for that part of your tour."

She inclined her head gracefully and he 'held' the door open for her, then headed towards the turbolift. The tour went quite well and both fell into that same ease and familiarity that had come so naturally between them since they met. He left her in Engineering with Scotty, where she had turned the translator back on so they could speak about engineering matters, a language of its very own when spoken between two engineers at their level.

They met later in the rec room, where an impromptu concert was forming, as it did on most night when Uhura was there. Spock had his Vulcan harp out and was tuning it to a chord that was less annoying to the human ear than the one he usually used. "Do you sing or play an instrument, T'An?"

She looked almost embarrassed for a moment, "While all Vulcans have perfect pitch, I cannot carry a tune."

"Is it worse or better to know you can't carry a tune? I've heard some tone deaf people sing with great enthusiasm, while everyone else clapped their hands over their ears, but I would imagine it would be better to live in blissful ignorance."

"It is difficult to know what good music sounds like and be completely unable to produce it. I would much rather know that singing is not within my talents, rather than subject anyone to the sound of my voice. I can play several instruments, but other than appreciating the mathematical precision of a well-written song, I don't have much talent for that, either. And you, Leonard? Are you musical?"

"I like listening to a good tune, but I'm not much of a singer and I'm afraid I forgot my childhood piano lessons almost as soon as I took them."

They listened to the music for a time and then he suggested tri-dimensional chess. "I'm no master player, but since you've never played, I can guarantee that at least I won't lose… within the first five moves or so, at least."

While he was looking forward to spending any time with her he could, he did have an ulterior motive. He had started playing the game because it challenged him, but had begun to use it as a diagnostic tool as well. Someone with his talents and training could analyze an opponent almost as well as they could with a full psych profile done up in sickbay. They started the game and she stumbled over the strategy for a bit, before catching on to it. He didn't lose, but it was a close game. She was, after all, a Vulcan and they seemed to be born smart and to get smarter with age.

At the end of the game, he walked her to the guest quarters and wished her goodnight. Kirk was loitering outside McCoy's quarters when he returned to them, "So?"

McCoy opened the door to his quarters and took out the bottle of Saurian brandy he kept there for his friend, "So what, Jim?"

"How did your little psych profile of our Vulcan commander go? Is she doing alright?"

"As well as can be expected, given what she's been through. Possibly better. She is a Vulcan after all and they're not known for being too emotionally unstable. Other than that, she's exactly what she appears to be: a well-adjusted, brilliant woman with one of the strongest senses of duty and honor I've ever seen. She more than gives you a run for your money in that department.

She claims to not be a natural leader, but she has all the characteristics I associate with one. She's more analytical and less intuitive than you, but that's to be expected from a Vulcan, especially a Vulcan engineer."

"She seems different from the Vulcans we know. More… open. Friendlier. And is it me or has she made few jokes?!"

"No, it's not just you, she definitely has a sense of humor. I thought for sure they had those removed at birth, but apparently not all the surgeries are successful."

"Ha ha."

"Seriously though, she isn't what we've come to think of as a typical Vulcan. But, how much of that is just her own uniqueness and how much is just like the others from her time, I won't know until we thaw them out. From what I understand, her clan and the three others that went into voluntary exile were always considered a bit different, but I don't know yet if that was just due to their interpretation of Surak's teachings or not."

"I guess we'll just have to wait and see, then. As long as you think she's doing alright, that's all I was worried about…for now."

"She'll be fine, Jim."

Kirk drained the last of his drink, "And you…"

McCoy cut him off, "Good night, Jim."

"Night Bones."


	8. Chapter 8

Eight

The next day after they ate dinner together, McCoy asked T'An if she was interested in learning a human game, "I've never been able to get Spock to come to Poker Night, so if you don't want to, then that's just fine. And if it's not to your taste, I'll be happy to try something else."

"What sort of a game is this poker?"

"It's not a game of strategy like chess, but there is strategy is involved. It's considered more of a game of chance. And you already have the most important element of the game."

"An inexplicable appreciation for the odd humor certain human doctors possess?"

McCoy chuckled, "Well, that doesn't hurt, either, but no, I was talking about what is called a poker face. It just means that you can keep what you're thinking to yourself and not give away what sort of hand you have."

"I do seem unusually well suited to that requirement," she said, her eyes sparkling with humor. He found himself trying to wipe that damn silly grin off his face once again and decided, '_Ah, what the hell. Might as well enjoy this...whatever it is... while it lasts,_' and he flashed her a full-wattage grin. She held his eyes for for a moment, something besides just good humor glittering in her silvery grey eyes. He was usually the one to drop eye contact, but this time he held it... and held it. A faint greenish tinge touched her cheeks and she looked away. '_Hmmmm,_' he thought, '_ain't that interesting?_'

"So, is there something I should do to prepare for this Poker Night? Or perhaps something I should bring, since it is a social event?"

"Well, since I'm sure you're already planning to study all the poker rules you can find in the ship's database, there isn't anything else I can think of that you'll need. Scotty's in charge of snacks, but we'll be in the rec room, so you can always get something a little more to your taste from the replicator. Scottish food and drink is an acquired taste even for those of us who grew up on the same planet. Casual dress and I'll pick you up here in an hour?"

"I will see you then," she said, stepping backwards into the room and maintaining that almost electric eye contact again until the door closed.

'_Hmmmm..._' he thought again, but then stopped himself, '_There is no way. None. I'm just a lonely old fool imagining things and... well, OK, she's older and probably lonelier than I am and... but still... although..._' he paused, '_Shut up, Leonard._' he told himself. _'Just shut up and stop overanalyzing.'_

When he returned an hour later, his pulse started racing the moment she opened the door. He swallowed a couple of times, his mouth suddenly dry, and just stared in appreciation. She was wearing something green and soft and clingy, in a flowing sort of way. It was a casual, simple garment, with a high neckline, long sleeves and covered her nearly to her ankles. '_My God,_' he thought, '_how could something so Vulcanly modest be so sexy?'_

"Leonard? Are you all right?"

McCoy realized that he had been staring for a lot longer than he should and blushed, "Yes, sorry. I... ah... wow. You look fantastic."

She dropped her eyes and that faint greenish tinge touched her cheeks again, "Thank you. I wasn't sure what counted for human casual, but this was a favorite of mine and I have not had any opportunities to wear it in the last six hundred years or so."

"No, it's perfect. You're perf... ah... ahem... So, are you ready?"

He held his arm out, the way he would have with a girl back home, so she could put her hand on the crook of his elbow, and she looked at him blankly for a moment. She seemed to figure out what he intended just as he realized how inappropriate it was to offer such close physical contact with a Vulcan. There was an awkward moment where she reached towards him just as he dropped his arm and then stepped back just as he raised it again.

He started to laugh, unable to help himself, and her eyes glittered with suppressed humor. "I'm sorry, it's just what I would have done to escort a woman back home and I completely forgot how inappropriate it would be."

"No need for an apology, Leonard. I understood your intent. It's just that a touch such as that between two unbonded Vulcans of opposite gender would be..."

"Unacceptable? Highly inappropriate and illogical?"

"A declaration of their intent to marry."

"Ah... ahem..." he stopped, trying to slow his racing pulse and thoughts. Then he looked at her, smiled in a way that was both achingly sweet and pulse-racingly sexy. Then he lifted his arm and held it out for her again.

"Leonard?!"

"Yes, darlin'?" his southern accent came through heavily, as it always did in times of stress or high emotion.

"Leonard, I..." she paused and composed herself, then stepped back into the room, motioning for him to follow her away from the curious stares of passing crewmen. "Leonard, you know that I hold duty and honor higher than anything else. That I would, and have, sacrificed a great deal for those two things."

"Of course, it's one of the many things I like about you."

"Then I must tell you that my duty lies in working towards the restoration of my people. To ensuring that they do not go from being an endangered species to an extinct one."

He wrinkled his brow, thinking about, "You would enter into another loveless marriage?"

"I never expected to be given the opportunity for anything but a loveless marriage. I would, of course, have been free to make my own choice about a second marriage. But I never expected anything other than respect and friendship."

"Then make that choice. I don't mean you have to choose me, we barely know each other, I couldn't expect you to know if that is your choice or not. But make the choice to choose!"

She closed her eyes for a moment, "Leonard, if I were free to choose, I would choose to get to know you better and see where this... whatever this is... will take us. But I am not free to choose. I must return to my people and fulfill my obligation to them."

"So you'll just return to Vulcan and marry some stranger and have a bunch of Vulcan children and..." he stopped, unable to continue.

"It is where my duty lies, I cannot do otherwise. And you know that, deep down inside of you. Just as you know that I would not be the person you... like... so much if I were not true to my nature."

This time he closed his eyes, "I know, I'm sorry. I should never have gone down this path."

"I was right beside you on that path, Leonard."

"T'An, can't you..."

"Leonard, some day I will have to leave you and marry another. It might be next month, or next year, or at some indeterminate time in the future, but it will happen. I could not do that to you. I am not sure I could do that to myself."

"T'An," he stepped towards her, standing close but not touching. "We have a saying on Earth and I never really understood it till now. But, it really is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all."

She took a moment to work through the idiom, "Leonard..."

"No, wait, let me finish, please."

Her eyes shone with the tears she couldn't shed.

"T'An, I don't know what this thing between us is or where it might lead. I only know that if I don't follow it through for as long as I am allowed to, then I will regret it a hell of a lot more than I would regret not pursuing it."

"Leonard..."

"It's your choice. Let this... whatever it is... take us wherever it was meant to and worry about the end of it only when the end actually comes. Or, turn away, and regret not knowing and not taking the chance. I'm not asking or expecting forever. I can't. But, I can hope for the here and now. I promise to respect whatever choices you make, whenever you make them. I probably won't like some of those choices, but I will respect them."

"The here and now, until duty calls... for either of us?"

"Yes."

"Yes."

"T'An damnit, I... what?"

"Shall we follow this path... to Poker Night? I believe we are unforgivably late by now."

"I... ahem... yes!" and he smiled that sweet and sexy smile and again, gave a little bow, and held the door for her as she swept through.


	9. Chapter 9

Nine

If the others were surprised to see a Vulcan at Poker Night, they kept their thoughts to themselves and tried to make her feel welcome. Just after Scotty dealt the first hand, T'An turned to Chekov, "Ensign, I must say something out of respect for good sportsmanship. I believe that you are more familiar with modern Vulcans, who are generally touch telepaths?"

"Yes?"

"Perhaps you do not realize that we were not always limited to such a practice and once possessed much stronger abilities."

"I...er...?"

McCoy took pity on the poor kid, "What she's trying to tell you, Pavel, is that you're thinking too loud and she can hear you."

Chekov blushed scarlet and T'An flashed a look of exasperation at McCoy. "I would never intrude on another's thoughts, Ensign, but Leonard is right. You are thinking very loudly about your cards and strategy."

"I vill attempt to think more quietly, ma'am."

T'An returned her attention to her own cards and Sulu said, "And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the big difference between Vulcans and humans."

Everyone but T'An and Chekov, who both looked puzzled, laughed. McCoy turned to them, "What Sulu was trying to point out that little things like enormous internal differences in blood composition and internal organs are nothing when you compare them to behavior. A human in T'An's situation would have kept his mouth shut and used what he knew to win the game."

Chekov's puzzlement cleared, but T'An looked as shocked as a Vulcan possibly could, "You would invade another's thought to win a game?"

"Well, we wouldn't see it as an invasion, since the thoughts were out there for anyone to hear. We wouldn't even see it as cheating, but we would see it as using everything we possessed to be the best at something. Humans are very competitive and don't see anything wrong with using what nature gave us to succeed."

T'An still looked troubled, but decided to reflect on things at a more private time. She returned her attention once again to her cards and they continued to play. The evening passed quickly and all enjoyed themselves. T'An allowed herself to relax and began to understand why her reserved and logical people had allowed themselves to become so closely partnered with this mercurial, emotional race.

Vulcans might not allow themselves to experience fun in the same way as a human, but just sitting in their presence and watching them enjoy themselves was proving to be not only informative, but also very relaxing. She would never allow herself to laugh and enjoy herself so openly, it was against her nature, but watching them was actually very enjoyable.

As if he could sense the direction her thoughts had taken, McCoy glanced over and smiled at her. Her eyes smiled back at him and she raised the bet on her next hand. She had played conservatively till then, but had decided to employ the 'bluff' she had read of when she went over the rules in her quarters earlier.

She won the hand when everyone else folded and McCoy demanded to see her cards. Since she had nothing better in her hand than a pair of twos, she flashed them with an almost-smile on her face and he groaned.

"A bluff?!"

""It is a legitimate part of the game, Leonard."

"I am so going to hell for this, I've corrupted the incorruptible!"

She quirked an eyebrow at him while the others laughed. Sulu said, "Spock has been known to try a bluff when he absolutely has to, but he's not really very good at it. I always thought he only tried because of his human half. It never occurred to me that a full Vulcan would try it."

"I am curious about why everyone refers to Spock as half human or half Vulcan."

"Well, his mother was human and his father is Vulcan, so...." McCoy replied.

"Yes?"

"So that makes him half human or half Vulcan, depending on where you're standing."

"Which half is Vulcan and which is human?"

"What?"

"You refer to him as half of something and half of another, I am curious as to which is which."

"Well, physically he looks Vulcan, but his insides are a bit of a mess and... that's not what you're talking about, is it?"

"No. I merely found it curious that everyone, including Spock himself, refers to him as half of something and half of another something. His parents came from different species, but he himself is a full and complete creature in his own right. It is a disservice to him, and he does a disservice to himself, to see himself as anything but the sum of all his parts."

"I guess I never looked at it that way before."

Chekov broke in, "So if he isn't half Wulcan and half human, vhat is he?"

"He is Spock, as unique and complete as any one of us. Perhaps a bit more so, due to the fact that his parents were born on different worlds, but one complete being nonetheless. My own two parents could not have been more different if they had been from different species, but I do not consider myself as comprised of half my father and half my mother, but as my own person. My sister, with whom I shared a womb, is as close to me genetically as anything other than a clone could be, yet we could not be more different in the way we think and act."

"I've never heard of Vulcan twins," said Scotty, who was trying very hard not to think too loudly about anything inappropriate related to twins.

"It is rare outside of my own clan, but the women of my family always have twins and have done so for as long as we have kept a recorded history."

"Always?" asked McCoy, his medical curiosity piqued.

"Yes, always. Sometimes a twin will not survive outside the womb, but at the moment of conception there are always two. Not always what you would call identical twins, but never more or less than two."

"That's..."

"A genetic improbability?"

"I was going to say fascinating, although I'd hate to sound like Spock. But, it is. I'd love to do some research on it, if you'd let me."

"You are welcome to, Leonard, but with only me to examine it would not constitute a legitimate study. When we reach the Vulcan colony my sister and our cousins will be willing to participate, I am sure, but I cannot speak for any of our modern family members, if any exist."

Her eyes grew sad for a moment and then cleared, "Now, I believe we have a game to play and it is my turn to deal."

T'An continued to win, employing an unpredictable pattern of bluffing and not, even when she had a good hand of cards. McCoy finally caught on to her strategy, though, and proceeded to, as he put it, wipe the deck with her. In all, it was an enjoyable evening.

When it was over, McCoy walked her back to her quarters. "You haven't heard back from Vulcan High Command, yet?"

"No. Spock expects a response within the next day or so."

"That doesn't sound like his usual precision."

"Indeed not, but given the nature of the news his message brings, he expected there to be a delay of some sort while they discussed it and compiled the information he requested. Starfleet's records on my people aren't very complete and Spock asked for a full record so that I could see what has happened since we left Vulcan. He also requested information on any descendants my clan might have. I am not overly optimistic, as it has been a long time and there were so few survivors of the destruction of Vulcan. But, there is always a chance of some distant relations still existing somewhere."

"I'll keep up some optimistic thoughts of my own for you, then. I wanted to ask, you seemed pretty accepting of Spock's heritage. I didn't get the impression that many Vulcans felt, or thought, the same. Humans, too, I suppose. We don't have the same prejudices we once did, but sometimes we don't always rise above our past actions."

"Our people have always been a rather insular and kept to themselves as much as possible, but Spock is not the first Vulcan hybrid I have met."

"He's not?!"

"No. He is the first Vulcan-Human hybrid I have met, of course, which is not a surprise considering that your people hadn't even discovered electricity when I left Vulcan. But, he is not the first Vulcan with a parent from another species I have known. There are... were some within my own immediate family."

"I'd like to hear about that. I'd like to hear about anything you want to tell me, actually."

She met his gaze with equal intensity and they would have continued to stare at each other for some time if Spock hadn't walked up to them. He greeted them, "Doctor, would you excuse us? Commander, may I have a word with you? I have received the information from Vulcan that I requested."

McCoy started to protest, knowing that Spock was probably bearing even more bad news, but T'An beat him to it, "I would appreciate Leonard's companionship while you break this news to me, Spock. He was most helpful in assisting me the last time I received such news."

"And as her physician, and her friend, I insist on being allowed to stay. Especially since T'An wants me here."

Spock knew a lost cause when he saw one and agreed, although he had no wish to speak of private Vulcan matters before a human. He knew that McCoy had only mentioned the physician part of the relationship to assure Spock himself that he would consider anything said to be a part of patient confidentiality. McCoy might be a mercurial and overly emotional man, but he took his oaths seriously and was a gifted doctor.

They entered the guest quarters assigned to T'An and she sat down. McCoy stood behind her, almost but not quite touching her in silent support and Spock remained standing, obviously uncomfortable.

"I have a full history for you, containing the items we discussed, for you to peruse at your leisure. But I also received the genealogical information you requested. There is no other way to say this, other than to tell you that I grieve with thee."

"None left?"

"None related to you by blood. A few by marriage, though, of which my father and I are the closest. Your mother remarried after your father died, a second marriage for both, and the children from her new husband's first marriage were part of my clan. The first born son was my direct forebear, actually."

McCoy's hand touched her shoulder gently, but he said nothing, knowing that she needed time to gain control of her emotions.

"The possibility was one that I considered, but only as a worst-case scenario. We left behind many children and older relatives, but none have survived? What of the three other clans who went into exile with mine?"

"After the loss of your ship, your clans drew into themselves, giving up space travel altogether. They rejected most of Vulcan society and married amongst themselves. Two of the clans died out within three hundred years. The third clan was absorbed into your own when their numbers grew too small. At the time of Vulcan's destruction, the only blood relations any of you had left were two elderly matriarchs of your clan and their sole surviving son. His wife and children had been killed in a shuttle accident many years before. They either did not make it to the rescue ships in time..."

"Or chose not to."

"Perhaps. In any case, we will never know."

"What of my cousins on Andor?"

"I am not aware of any Vulcans living on Andor."

"Well, after all this time they probably consider themselves Andorian, but they are blood of my blood, nonetheless."

"I am sorry, but I do not understand. Vulcans do not generally live on Andor, it is much too cold, and our two species are not known to coexist easily. I have not heard of any Vulcans who would choose to live there for generations..."

McCoy interrupted him, "She's talking about cousins a little like you, you idiot, from two different species! Right, T'An?"

"I would not have expressed it in such a way, but yes, I was. My mother's sister went to Andor when she was young, as part of an ambassadorial delegation. She remained behind and married an Andorian. Their two sons were born on the same day and at the same time as my sister and I were on Vulcan.

"My sister and I spent many childhood summers on Andor and our cousins spent many winters on Vulcan. We were the closest of friends and my younger cousin and his wife were expecting their first children not long after my ship entered the anomaly. Like you, they resembled their father's race, but considered both their heritages to be equally important to them."

"I have never heard of a Vulcan marrying an Andorian, never mind a union that produced hybrid children, but I will contact Andor myself and see what I can find."

"My gratitude... cousin."

He inclined his head and hurried out of the room. McCoy kept his hand on her shoulder and she bowed her head for a moment before regaining control.

"Poor Spock, he always seems to bear such awful news. I try to remind myself that the message is not the fault of the messenger, but illogical as it is, I cannot help but wonder what bad news he will bring me every time I see him."

"Poor Spock?! Poor you, who has to have such awful news broken to you with no warning or compassion!"

"Ah Leonard, how could you have worked with Spock for so long without knowing how to read him? You read me as if I were an open book and we just met, but you can't see how badly he was affected by the news he did not want to bring?"

"I didn't see that at all, just a man who wanted to pass on the bad news as quickly as he could and escape."

"It is late in your ship's night, is it not?"

"Well yes, but what in Sam Hill does that have to do with the price of tea in China?!"

She quirked an eyebrow at him, but continued, "Did it not occur to you to wonder why Spock, who worked a full shift this morning, would be on the bridge so late?"

Comprehension dawned in his eyes, "He's been waiting for that information so he could bring it to you as soon as he could."

"Yes, I believe so. Even though the news he brought was not what I wanted to hear, he knew that I would want to hear it as soon as it came in."

He knelt in front of her and looked into her sad eyes, "This isn't exactly how you imagined your return to Vulcan would be, is it?"

"Not even in the darkest of nights," she closed her eyes, still struggling for control.

"These cousins of yours, they weren't what we call kissing cousins, were they?" he asked mischievously, knowing she needed a distraction.

"You kiss your cousins?!"

"Well, not always, but sometimes. Your mothers were sisters, though, so it wouldn't go any further than that, except in some very odd places. Fortunately, I didn't live in one of those places. Although, I would have married my cousin Sophie when we were five if I could have!"

She looked at his grin and her eyes lightened for a moment, "Sherak was my dearest friend, what we call _t'hy'la_, and his brother and my sister were just as close. When we were five, Sherak and I built our own subspace transmitters so we could keep in touch when we were apart. We exchanged frequent messages even as adults. If Andor weren't so cold, we might have considered spending part of our exile there"

"What's that word mean, _tayla_?"

"_T'hy'la_, and it doesn't have just one meaning. It is friend, lover, brother. Not lover in the sense you are thinking, but..."

"We call them soulmates."

"Yes, that would be how I might translate it. One who is closer to you than anyone else, your heart's truest friend. Our mothers were _t'hy'la_ to each other, but my sister and I are what you would call mirror twins and while we are close, we were never _t'hy'la _to each other."

"Identical but opposite?"

"Yes, exactly. While most Vulcans are generally ambidextrous, I always favored my right hand and she her left. My hair parts just slightly to the right and hers to the left. I have three freckles on my right shoulder in the shape of a triangle pointing upwards and she..."

"...has one on her right shoulder pointing down?"

"Exactly. But, in addition to our physical differences, we are very different people. I am an engineer and she a healer."

"You fix machines and she fixes people?"

"Yes, and I am the quiet introvert and she the social and extroverted one."

"You're the least introverted of any Vulcan I've ever met!"

"I have had to be, since I am the only one available to speak for my crew, but once they have been awakened, you will see how quiet I seem."

Her eyes grew sad again, thinking of all that had changed and all she had lost.

"What can I do? How can I help you? I'll do anything to help." he asked, leaning closer.

Her eyes glittered and she said, "Anything?"

"Yes."

"Then stop talking and kiss me."

"I... uh... I..." he stammered for a moment, but then he leaned in closer and for a long time there was no more need for words.


	10. Chapter 10

Ten

The next morning, McCoy awoke to find himself in a most pleasant tangle of limbs and bedclothes. From the moment he took her in his arms, he had felt that he and T'An fit perfectly, as if they had been made for each other. Everything since had only served to convince him of that fact. She stirred and opened her eyes to find him smiling at her.

"Mornin'"

"Good morning," she murmured as she burrowed closer to him.

"How are you?"

"Quite well, and you?"

"Fantastic. No regrets?"

"Only one."

His heart clenched and he asked, even though he didn't think he really wanted to know, "What?"

"That I cannot open my mind to you and show you what such an experience with a telepath can be."

"Why can't you? I've seen you meld with Uhura and I know Spock has melded with several other species."

"If I open my mind to you, I would be unable to prevent a bond from forming. Some of my people are capable of forming temporary bonds, but such is not in my nature. It would be a permanent bond, unbreakable, and any separation from each other would be painful. I cannot in good conscience allow it, not only for the pain it would cause the two of us, but also for the betrayal it would be of the marriage bond I must some day make."

"Remind me not to ask questions like that next time," he grumbled.

Her eyes smiled and she reached for him, only to be interrupted by a hail from the Bridge, "Commander T'An and Doctor McCoy, report to the _ShanaiKahr_ for a medical emergency. Commander T'An and Doctor McCoy, report to the _ShanaiKahr_ for a medical emergency."

T'An started throwing on her uniform, attempting to put on her boots as she walked to the door. Only someone with the coordination and strength of a Vulcan, born on a world with higher gravity and less oxygen, could have done it not only without breaking their neck, but also gracefully. McCoy grabbed the clothes he had worn the night before, trying not to break his own neck as he put them on, and hit the com panel, "We're on our way."

They both raced for the transporter room, T'An easily outpacing him even though his legs were longer. She was just dematerializing as he entered the transporter room, grabbing the medical kit he kept there for emergencies as he raced in. He made it to the ship just as she disappeared off the bridge and one of the _Enterprise_ crew members gave him directions. He headed there as fast as he could, heart racing and sick with a cold fear. The area was part of the crew quarters converted to cold sleep and the only reason to call both himself and T'An was if there had been a problem with the cold sleep capsules.

Spock and Scotty were seated outside one of the rooms, covered in frost and being tended to by a med team. "What's going on here?"

Neither man could speak clearly and a junior engineer spoke up, "We had a glitch in one of the cold sleep capsules, sir. We've isolated the problem and fixed it, but they had to go inside to do so."

McCoy started treatment for hypothermia and called for an emergency transport to Sick Bay. He could only spare a quick glance for T'An, who was standing outside the room, fingers pressed against the door and a look of intense concentration on her face. As he faded away in the transporter effect, he heard her say, "I can sense no immediate problems with the crew in this cabin. Were any others affected?"

The sick feeling faded a bit from his stomach and he was able to devote himself more completely to treating his patients, hoping that none of the Vulcans had been lost.

Back on the _ShanaiKahr_, T'An and the engineering crew were checking the cabins one by one for any other problems. The computer should have alerted them long before it did to the problem and she could no longer trust it. At the door of each cabin the engineers would scan everything inside while T'An looked for any hints of consciousness or distress in the minds of her crew. They had just completed their last inspection when Kirk joined them, reassuring everyone that Scotty and Spock would be fine.

"All is well here, Captain, but I am concerned that the computer did not give the advance warning it is supposed to when a problem occurs. I did not want to take my crew out of cold sleep so early, but I can't risk their lives."

"Was it a problem with just the computer or are the cold sleep mechanisms breaking down?"

"As far as we can determine, it was a problem with the computer, but this equipment is old and never designed to do what it has done the last six centuries. I can make no guarantees that it will not be the cold sleep mechanisms next time."

"If we have someone monitoring the cabins in person would we be better off than trying to revive all of them so far from any Vulcan healers?"

"It would take 20 people at a time to provide adequate monitoring, Captain."

"That's not a problem. I have a full security staff with nothing much to do and quite a few others I can free from their duties to help out. Between those people and volunteers helping out between their own shifts, we could easily cover that and then some, so don't let lack of crew influence your decision."

T'An composed herself and ran numbers and probabilities through her head until she reached a resolution. "I would be most grateful, once again, for your assistance, Ca… Jim. I still think it would be best to keep my people in cold sleep as long as possible. If there are any further problems, though, I will have to start reviving them."

"I'll have my yeoman start working up a rotation. Did you have a plan in place for emergency thawing?"

"Yes, we decided long ago that the healers would be woken first so that they could assist with everyone else. They are all on the deck below this and I will ensure that the cabins are marked as such and everyone is notified of the plan. The healers' spouses have received medical training as well so that waking both occupants of each cabin will provide even more assistance."

Kirk and T'An discussed more specific plans and then he excused himself to return to the _Enterprise_ and check on Spock and Scotty. T'An started a more thorough check of the system now that the immediate concern for her crew had passed. She didn't generally second-guess herself or allow self-doubt to plague her, but so many terrible things had happened the last ten years, or six hundred depending on how you looked at it, that she no longer felt that any decision she made was going to turn out to be the right one.

She struggled with her doubts for a moment longer and then put them aside as illogical and a waste of her time. The decision was made and could be unmade at any time, but for now she still felt that it was the best decision available.

Back on the _Enterprise_, Kirk tried not to let McCoy notice that he had noticed the doctor wearing the same clothes he had the night before. Given that they were definitely not a uniform and were decidedly the worse for wear, it wasn't easy. But, he was pretty sure that it was neither the time nor the place to tease his friend, no matter how tempting it might be.

McCoy ensured that his patients were out of danger and excused himself to his office, where he grabbed a spare uniform he kept there and changed into it. He came out of his office a moment later and Kirk continued to keep his comments to himself. He hoped Bones appreciated it, but based on the glare he was getting, it was unlikely he would say anything about the matter.

"How are they, Bones?"

"They'll be fine, but they'll need to stay here for the day so we can monitor them and get them warmed up."

Both men started to protest, but he cut them off, "The emergency is over and T'An and the engineering staff can handle things for a while. If you behave yourselves I might let you out by dinnertime and if you're really good boys I might even let you work from the computers here in Sick Bay."

They both considered protesting, but knew the doctor well enough by now to recognize a lost cause, and decided to keep quiet. Spock turned to Kirk, "What is the status of the _ShanaiKahr_, Captain?"

"The cold sleep mechanisms all seem to be operating properly now. It was the computer that had a problem. We've started monitoring everything manually and will continue to do so until we reach the Vulcan colony or until there is another problem and we have to wake them all up from cold sleep."

"Captain, I received information from the Vulcan colony last night and have determined the exact coordinates where the debris from the _ShanaiKahr_ was found in the other timeline. It is less than three light years from here. Since it was never determined what exactly happened to the ship, I recommend proceeding with caution. It is a part of space that the Federation has not had a chance to explore."

"Let me guess, it's also our most direct route home and any detours would add significantly to the journey."

Spock quirked an eyebrow at his Captain and continued, "Indeed it is and it would. There was no time constraint on our journey, but with the equipment aboard the _ShanaiKahr_ experiencing breakdowns, you will have to decide which option poses the least amount of risk."

"I'll beam back over and speak to T'An about it. It's her crew, so she should be the one to make the decision."

"I'll come with you, Jim. I want to go over those emergency procedures with T'An so I can make sure my staff is prepared. We don't have to wake people up from coldsleep very often these days, waking up 300 of them will be a mess even with a plan in place."

Kirk looked at his friend, opened his mouth, closed it again, and then motioned for him to precede him out of the room, "After you, Bones."

On the walk to the transporter room, McCoy turned to him, "If you have something to say, say it now."

Kirk smirked at him, "I''m not sure what you mean, Bones."

"All those looks, the almost-winks, the smirk? Not to mention you've opened your mouth to say something at least six times and then shut it again. So, what's your problem?!" the doctor faced him belligerently, hands on hips and fire in his eyes.

"No problem, Bones. Just wanted to say I was happy you were happy... or at least whatever passes for happy in Curmudgeonville."

McCoy narrowed his eyes dangerously, "Leave it alone, Jim. Leave me alone, too, while you're at it!"

"Whoa, Bones, hang on a minute. I know you're a gentleman and would never kiss and... er, would never discuss a lady and any relationship you may or may not have with her. But, I am your friend and I think I've earned the right to tell you that I'm happy you've finally decided to join the land of the living again."

McCoy sighed, "Listen, Jim, you don't know what you're talking about and I'm not going to talk about it no matter how much you nag me. Can we just leave it at that for now?"

"Sure, Bones, I... sure, but remember I'm here if you do decide to talk."

His friend just turned and walked away, leaving Kirk to wonder what the hell had just happened.

McCoy stopped at the food synthesizer they had installed in the office just off the _ShanaiKahr_'s bridge and ordered a couple of breakfasts, "Jim?"

Figuring the offer of breakfast was the closest thing to a truce or explanation he would receive, he accepted. He grabbed his meal and the two coffees while McCoy grabbed the two other meals and an herbal tea. They headed down to engineering to meet with T'An.

Kirk might have promised not to talk about whatever was going on between his friend and the Vulcan commander, but that didn't stop him from observing the two together. He noticed with interest how her eyes warmed from silver to grey when she saw him, the extra touch of their hands when McCoy handed her breakfast over to her, and the way his friend just looked at her, unable to stop himself. Kirk thought to himself that it certainly proved a point that opposites attracted. The only pairing he could think of that was less likely was if McCoy and Spock had taken a sudden and inexplicable fancy to each other!

Neither of the two sharing breakfast with him struck him as the sort to engage in public displays of affection, especially not on duty, but it was amazing how often they managed a small touch here, a glance there. It made Kirk happy to see his friend, who had been so badly damaged by his divorce, act like that. It also made him feel a little melancholy until he turned his thoughts to his ship.

The _Enterprise_ was more of a commitment than he had ever imagined himself capable of, and was the only woman he had room in his life for at the moment. Perhaps someday that would change. Although, according to the other timeline, he would have to do something pretty drastic to change it. A string of failed relationships and lost loves seemed to have followed that other Jim Kirk. Even a son he knew nothing about until it was too late. Kirk reminded himself to be very careful if he ever met this timeline's Carol Marcus, or at least look her up a few months after any relationship with her ended, just in case. Then he shook himself out of his reverie to find Bones and T'An looking at him.

"Sorry, I was just woolgathering."

T'An quirked an eyebrow at him, "Your language has a fascinating amount of colloquialisms in it, Jim. It intrigues me that such an imprecise and illogical language became the standard language for your Federation."

"Well, it was the one that most people spoke going in to the formation of the Federation, so it just made sense. With the translator implants most of the people who conduct business with the Federation have now, there doesn't seem to be much need to make a change. Especially since it would take a couple of centuries just to decide which languages to put on the ballot to vote on."

"T'Nal will likely produce a paper or two out of it once she settles in to life in this century. My sister is by training and inclination a healer, but she also has an interest in languages."

"That's the first time you've said her name," McCoy told her.

She thought about it for a moment, "You are correct. It was not an intentional withholding of information, believe me. I merely find it difficult to speak of her after being separated for so long. Our bond has existed since before we were born and not having her mind somewhere in the back of mine has been difficult."

"You could sense her even when you were far from each other?"

"Yes, always. The further away the more tenuous the connection, but it is there until death, for close family and bondmates. Coldsleep does not produce the same effect on bonds as death, fortunately, otherwise I would have had to prohibit spouses from going into it separately.

"But... it is difficult to explain, especially to those who are not telepaths. I cannot sense my sister, but I cannot not sense her... which is as precise an explanation I can give without having you learn Vulcan and then take an intensive course in the nature of telepathic bonds."

"I can't even pronounce your clan name, never mind your full name, so you'll have to count me out of the Vulcan language lessons," McCoy joked.

Kirk shrugged and held his hands up in self-deprecating defeat, "I occasionally have trouble with Standard." In the back of his mind, though, he was thinking furiously about the implications of McCoy knowing not only T'An's clan name, but her full name.

A clan name might or might not be found in the public record, depending on the individual Vulcan's decision on levels of privacy, but a full name was something never given to outsiders. It was something that was rarely given even to Vulcans outside one's own family. Kirk filed that under 'Fantastically Interesting Things I'd Love To Know More About...And Probably Never Will' and moved on with the conversation.

Now that he had stopped trying to flirt with T'An and she had warmed up enough to call him by his first name, he found they had a lot in common. Both had become captains of large, state-of-the-art starships very early in their career, with all the self-doubt and stumbles that brought. Unlike him, though, she had no interest in command and claimed to have no talent for it either. But, any person who could bring her people through what she had was obviously one hell of a leader. Having brought his own crew through some pretty horrific things, Kirk could understand what it took to not only survive but to bring almost an entire crew through unscathed.

McCoy watched the two captains talk and wondered where all his jealousy had gone. In the beginning he hadn't wanted Kirk within a parsec of T'An and now he was enjoying watching them become friends. He decided he had done enough self-analysis for a while and just sat back to enjoy himself.


	11. Chapter 11

Eleven

The next few days passed quickly. T'An stayed on her ship most of the time, only returning to the Enterprise to sleep, too concerned about her crew to feel comfortable leaving them for any amount of time. Spock had volunteered to stay on her ship during the overnight hours, claiming he had research projects he could get done more efficiently with less people around to take his attention. She and Leonard didn't seem to get much sleeping done, though. Most nights they would lay in each other's arms and talk the night through, as if they knew they needed to fit a lifetime of talking and learning about each other into the short time they had.

McCoy, for his part, felt as if he were living in the calm before a storm. He had seen too much of the dark side of life to think that the idyllic bliss in which he was living could last any amount of time. He would have been perfectly happy to be proven wrong, but had no hopes that he would be.

On the third day after the crisis with the coldsleep computer, Chekov was running scans of the area, "Keptin! Long range sensors show a sheep approaching!"

Since they were fairly close to the area that the _ShanaiKahr_ had been found destroyed in the other timeline, Kirk ordered, "Red Alert. Shields up, and make sure we're close enough to the _ShanaiKahr_ cover her with our shields. He deflectors won't stand up to most modern weapons."

"Aye, sair."

"Kirk to _ShanaiKahr_."

"T'An here. We are within the radius of your shields, Captain, and awaiting further information."

"The ship should be within range in a minute, Commander, and we'll know more then."

"Acknowledged. _ShanaiKahr_ out."

Tension was high on both bridges as they waited to identify the swiftly approaching vessel. The minute seemed the longest of a lifetime, but Spock swiftly provided an identification, "The vessel matches the configuration of a new Vulcan ship we designed using information from Ambassador Spock. Only one has been completed, but as far as I know it had not been sent on a mission and could not have made it this far in the time since I sent my message to the colony to inform them of finding the _ShanaiKahr_."

"So it could be the prototype, but could as easily be a similar ship from another, possibly hostile race?"

"Probable, but unlikely, Captain. The odds of an unknown alien race designing a similar ship are less the one half of one percent. We are now within hailing distance, however."

"Uhura?"

"Sending out standard hailing frequencies now, Captain." Uhura paused a moment, listening, "It's Spock, sir. Er, Ambassador Spock, that is. He's requesting permission to come aboard."

"Is that ship small enough to fit in the shuttle bay, Spock?"

"Yes, sir, it is a two-man scout vessel, similar in size to one of our shuttles, but much faster."

"Cancel the Red Alert and let the Ambassador know he is welcome on board anytime. I'll meet him in the shuttle bay."

"Aye, Captain."

"Spock, with me. Sulu, you have the conn."

In the turbolift, Kirk turned to his first officer, "What the heck are you doing so far out?"

Spock stifled an urge to sigh and quirked an eyebrow at him, "I am on the Enterprise, following orders to map this part of space. If, however, you are referring to my elder counterpart, I am certain he will explain his presence to us when he lands."

They reached the shuttle bay and watched as the sleek Vulcan shuttle landed smoothly. A door opened and Ambassador Spock exited the vehicle. He looked less careworn and exhausted than he had the last time they had seen him. Working toward restoring the Vulcan race seemed to have invigorated and almost rejuvenated him.

A century and a half wasn't particularly old for a Vulcan, they often lived to 250 or more, but Spock's Human heritage obviously had an influence on him and he had seemed nearly ancient when Kirk met him. He was still not a young man, nor even a middle-aged one, but it now looked as if he could live for many more decades.

"Jim!" the Ambassador greeted him, unable and probably unwilling to hide the joy he felt at seeing the Captain.

"Spock, how are you? We certainly didn't expect to see you all the way out here, but it's a pleasant surprise."

"I was looking for an old Vulcan ship that went missing in this area in my timeline, but I see you beat me to it."

"We did, yes, and it's intact in this timeline."

Spock looked at him expectantly, hoping but unable to truly have any hope, "And the crew?"

"Alive and well... all 301 one of them."

The Ambassador closed his eyes, overwhelmed with the news as his younger counterpart had been, but more comfortable with himself he showed it freely. "The descendants of the original crew or was the original crew caught in some sort of temporal anomaly?"

"Wrong on both counts. The original crew was caught in some kind of spatial anomaly that flung them a long ways away. They were able to convert the ship to a sleeper ship and each took turns of two years on watch. All of them except the Commander are safely frozen right now, it was her turn on watch when we found them."

I hadn't expected to actually find them all alive, but I determined it was worth a try. Our colony needs as many Vulcans as we can find. I didn't tell anyone at the colony what I intended, in case I was unsuccessful, but I was reasonably certain I had narrowed down the time and location to find the ship before it was destroyed."

"You did a pretty job considering the _ShanaiKahr _would have reached the area you were searching in a little over a week if they had continued on their original course. We've been keeping on high alert for the last few days, just because we don't know what destroyed the original in your timeline. Your arrival certainly gave us some tense moments until you answered our hail."

"Not that I doubt your word, Jim, but 301 Vulcans, all healthy and alive? Truly?"

"Come and see for yourself. I'm sure Commander T'An will be willing to give you the tour and explain what happened."

Several minutes later they materialized on the _ShanaiKahr_ and Kirk greeted T'An. "T'An, this is Ambassador Spock. Spock, this is Commander T'An, captain of the _ShanaiKahr_."

The two raised their hands in the _ta'al_ and exchanged greetings in Vulcan before switching to Standard once Spock determined that she was quite fluent. She looked between the two Spocks, looking for the similarities, as most did when encountering them together. They were both lean and tall, although the elder was slightly stooped with the weight of his years and cares.

She could see where the younger would grow into a fairly close resemblance to the elder, but could also see that the varied experiences of their lives would stamp their features in a slightly different way. She wondered if it was anything like what she felt with her twin and then dismissed the notion as illogical. She and her twin were two different people who had shared a womb. These two were the same person who had each been in the same womb, only in different timelines. She hoped that the elder would be less hesitant to share a meld with her than his younger counterpart had been, as her curiosity was nearly overcoming her good manners.

Kirk spoke up, "I hope you don't mind, Ambassador, but Spock and I have some work to do. T'An, I was hoping you could tell the Ambassador how you came to be here, if you don't mind."

"Indeed not. Ambassador, if you will follow me? We have been using this room off the bridge as an office and meeting room when we cannot leave the ship."

Spock inclined his head graciously and followed her. Once inside, they began to speak in Vulcan again. Spock spoke first, "Would I be offering any insult to suggest a mind meld, Commander?"

Her expression lightened, "I was just attempting to formulate a similar request, Ambassador, but have found from your younger counterpart that many Vulcans of this era do not regard mental contact as casually as we do."

"That is true for many Vulcans. I do not practice quite the same restrictions on it as some, but I have had many decades of service off of our homeworld in which to become more... comfortable with the idea."

They started the meld and quickly slipped into each other's minds. T'An did not find the same blocks and restrictions on his memory that the younger Spock had shown her. Instead, there was a freely offered sharing of experiences, very similar to what she had always experienced with her own friends and family.

She found in him a fierce intellect driven by curiosity and a deep and abiding sense of honor and duty. Curiosity was an emotion even the most formal of Vulcans would freely admit to possessing. In this Vulcan, however, it had brought him to Starfleet and a full life he had never expected but had somehow needed without knowing. His friendship with Kirk and McCoy had brought him great joy, an emotion he was old enough and content with his own self enough to admit to without reservations.

She felt also his pain and loss, still as deep and sharp as when it happened, from when Kirk had disappeared. How it had brought him even closer to McCoy, who had still been alive in his own timeline. The breaks and reconciliations with his father, the most recent over his decision to go to the Rihannsu homeworld and work for reunification of their people. His loss at the death of his mother, the shame of his broken bond with T'Pring, the gentle companionship he had felt with his second wife, so briefly a part of his life.

Only Kirk and McCoy had provided any sense of permanence in his life, their friendship the rock upon which he leaned in times of need, as they leaned on him. A bond that transcended death, that had even brought him back from death itself. Apart, they had all lacked something within themselves, not quite whole. But together, ah, together it was a friendship like no other!

T'An paused, 'T'hy'la!' she thought with satisfaction that here was someone who not only understood the word but had lived with it, with two parts of his own soul existing outside himself, for longer than she had been alive.

'_Yes,'_ he agreed. '_T'hy'la, brothers of my heart. There was a time when I would not have admitted to that, even to Jim, but especially not to Bones!' W_ry amusement filtered through the meld from both of them._ 'We sharpened our wits on each other for over a century, saved each other countless times, he carried my katra within him, and yet I would still not have been able to express this to him in words. It is something that we both knew, though, in a way that transcended the need for words. _

_'The three of them in this timeline have not yet reached that state yet, so I try not to discuss it too freely, but I can see it building between them and it makes me content to know that they will have the joy of such a partnership. It will be different from the one in my own timeline, these men have experienced different things in their lives, but it will be just as strong and unshakeable.'_

They continued the meld and she shared the depth of her bond with her twin, a telepathic togetherness that had begun before either emerged from the womb. Her dear cousins on Andor, one a _t'hy'la_ of her own. The difficult decision her crew had made to leave children and elders behind and try to avoid causing an unbreakable fracture in their society. How the state of Vulcan society now made her wonder if they had erred, how she hoped to try and show the remaining Vulcans what she hoped could be changed, what she believed in so strongly she had forsaken home and family to preserve.

He saw instantly what only an observer such as she could see, that Vulcan society had stagnated. It would have continued for millenia, of course, but would it have been worth it to merely survive without thriving and growing. '_Your logic is sound,'_ he agreed. '_Our people once embraced emotion above all other things and it nearly destroyed us. We turned to logic and retreated from all emotion, but at what cost? When you left Vulcan, the humans who built this ship had not yet discovered electricity, but look at how far they have come in that time. An incredible journey for them, but our people have not come far in that time. _

_'Your own ship is barely less advanced than this one, lacking only the discovery of dilithium to make them nearly equal. Vulcans contribute a great deal to science and technology, but we only seem to build upon what already exists. There have been no brilliant leaps in science made by a Vulcan since your ship was built. Erring too far on the side of logic has left us unable to grow as we should. But what else could we have done?'_

_'The humans call it a happy medium,' _she replied. '_A balance between logic and emotion, where we can be true to the ideals of Surak and to ourselves, but still retain that spark of something that drives a species to reach for more. We are an old race, it is true, but not so ancient that we do not have the ability to grow beyond the limits we have placed on ourselves.'_

_'I do not know how your philosophy will be taken once we reach the colony,' _he warned her, '_but you could not have chosen a more perfect time to arrive. Our society is in flux as it never has been. Your numbers would have been barely noticed before Vulcan was destroyed, but now there are so few of us... I will have to meditate long and deeply on this.'_

_'I will welcome your counsel, Spock. I want my people to rejoin Vulcan society no matter what, to help ensure we do not become extinct, but if I can do it without compromising our ideals it would be preferable.'_

They continued the meld, moving on to other topics. It was an easy sharing, made so by his experience and the inner peace he had striven so long for, and by her familiarity with living among so many relatives in close telepathic contact for her whole life. She had not found such an easy contact with anyone outside her own crew since before she left Vulcan.

For his part, he was quietly amused at her comparison with the melds she had shared with the younger Spock, more like a cold sort of duty. She found herself unable to determine if it was his youth or the fact that she saw him, unjustly so, as the bearer of bad tidings. She had thought it was merely his own personality that had caused the difficulties, but here was the same man, only so very different!

'_Not so very different,' _he said, amused, '_but young and not sure of himself or his place in the universe. He is far closer to my own personality now than I was at his age, more at peace with who he is.'_


	12. Chapter 12

Twelve

The meld complete, T'An inclined her head gracefully to Spock and he returned the gesture. There was much to learn from these people and he wondered at the twist of fate that had brought them here. He had difficulty believing that it was mere chance that the _ShanaiKahr_ had been destroyed in a timeline where an additional 301 Vulcans would have been a negligible, but potentially embarrassing, discovery. Yet, in this timeline, where his people were perched on the brink of extinction, those same Vulcans had been found safe and sound and were willing to return to Vulcan.

The commander was even willing to sacrifice her own personal wishes for the good of her people. Spock hoped that his people would respect her honor and sense of duty as much as he did. She would neither expect nor want such sentiment, but Spock knew a great deal about personal sacrifice in the name of honor and duty. He had once given his life for that very same thing, and now when he could expect a peaceful retirement, he was working tirelessly for the people in this timeline. Since the timeline had been created out of his own inability to stop Nero, he felt, however illogically, that it was his responsibility to set things right as much as he could.

T'An's wry amusement at the trend his thoughts had taken echoed down the remnants of the meld. She spoke aloud, "I believe you and I are more alike in many ways than my own twin and I have ever been, Ambassador."

"It would honor me if you would call me Spock."

"It is I who would be honored." She paused, "Does it not get somewhat confusing?"

He quirked an eyebrow, "Having two of me in one universe? Yes, sometimes. But, when there is room for confusion, it is easy to differentiate between Ambassador and Commander, or elder and younger."

"Vulcan family relationships are complicated enough, I find myself wondering how to come up with the appropriate terms that your children may use to refer to each of you. The man who is my father but not my sire?" her eyes glinted in amusement.

His lip twitched, "I had not thought of that possibility. Given our father's increasing pressure to marry and carry on the family name, it is likely that one of us will give in and abide by our family's wishes. It would be illogical not to, given how close to extinction we are."

"Has not your own father just married again? Perhaps he has given up on convincing his son, either one of them?"

"He is still young enough to do so, younger by far than I am now. It was a logical choice, even though it was not one he would have made under any other circumstances," Spock's eyes grew distant as he thought of his mother and the pain the three men of his family felt losing her so early in this timeline. He still had difficulty dealing with her death in his own timeline and she had been elderly by human standards then, not cut down in the prime of her life by a genocidal madman. He came back to himself a moment later, to find T'An waiting patiently for him, "My apologies, I was thinking of other things and became distracted."

"No apologies are necessary... I miss my mother, too. I always hoped I would return to Vulcan and see her again one day. It is a reminder that life is too short to take things for granted. A lesson we could learn from the humans."

"Both races have learned a great deal from each other. It is a much larger example of what my friendship with Jim and Bones showed, that we are stronger and better together than we could ever hope to be alone."

"I have not yet asked this of Commander Spock, but do you know if any of my family's _katras_ were some of the ones saved in the destruction of Vulcan? I know they were able to save a great deal that was stored within the Hall of Ancient Thought, but I do not know the specifics."

"Indeed, your mother and father's _katras_ were both among those saved. I do not know how accessible they are, many of the older ones no longer respond to any outside stimulus. Many of the _katras_ of your contemporaries are there, as well. I checked before I left, in the hope that I would encounter you or your descendants and could impart the information to you."

Her eyes grew distant and sad for a moment, then she asked quietly, "The children? My crew left behind 76 children when we left Vulcan, none older than fifteen."

"All 76 are accounted for within the Rolls, although I cannot testify to whether they will be reachable by even the deepest meld."

"That they did not cease to exist after death will be a great comfort to my crew. With all the many terrible things I will have to impart to them when we wake them, it will be good to have some small news that will be welcome to hear."

They spoke of other matters for a time and then Spock excused himself to return to the _Enterprise_, knowing that T'An had duties to perform. She patrolled the ship, checking that all was in order and then returned to the bridge, thinking of a pleasant late dinner with Leonard. As she stepped onto the bridge, the human crew manning their stations were initiating an alert.

"Status?" she demanded.

"The _Enterprise_ picked up another unidentified ship on long-range sensors, Commander."

"_ShanaiKahr_ to _Enterprise_."

"Uhura here, Commander. We haven't been able to identify the ship, it's not responding to any hails and Captain Kirk recommends we raise or shields and remain on alert."

Kirk's voice cut in, "Belay that, please, Uhura. Commander T'An, how do you feel about a little subterfuge?"

"Dishonesty is not something we Vulcans are comfortable with, Captain, but if you are thinking of bluffing that ship into thinking we are less than we are, you have my support."

"Excellent. If you could warp out of here now and then..."

"Negative, Captain, that would be most illogical."

"Excuse me? I'm afraid I don't follow your... logic."

"My ship has some defensive capabilities, but it is obviously not capable of dealing with whatever destroyed it in the original timeline. If that ship was the means of our destruction, then having us be anything but the decoy would be illogical. A surprise attack by my ship would fail and we could all die."

She could sense Kirk's frustration at that, knowing he wanted to send her away to protect her people, whether the plan worked or not, but he was smart enough to know that using the weaker ship as a decoy was the only plan with a chance to succeed. "Very well, Commander, we'll warp out, trying to camouflage our presence, and then warp back in at high speed. Chekov and Spock have been analyzing the data as it comes in and think they've found a weak spot."

Uhura sent the information over to the _ShanaiKahr_ and T'An and the crew on her bridge analyzed it. Sulu, who had been filling in during his time off, offered some suggestions for handling the situation. T'An, who had never trained for war, welcomed any assistance. They started formulating a plan when Ambassador Spock spoke, "Commander, if I may offer my services? We do not know if that ship has the capability to monitor our communications, but this plan will work better if we are in constant communication."

All of the humans looked puzzled, but the younger Spock turned to his elder, eyebrows raised. The elder Spock explained, "T'An is a powerful telepath and we have recently engaged in a mind meld. She will be able to keep in touch with the _Enterprise _and relay her actions to us through me without use of any technology that could be intercepted."

Kirk turned to the younger Spock, "Can she do that, even in the heat of battle?"

He hesitated, not comfortable with sharing private Vulcan information, even with his friend and captain, but the elder Spock cut in, "Jim, in the days before Vulcans gave up our savage ways and turned to an inner life of peace and learning, forsaking many of the mind powers, a Vulcan of T'An's capabilities would be capable of not only communicating with all the minds on this bridge during a battle, but would also be able to control them."

"What?!"

"It is one of the reasons that we do not generally discuss our potential capabilities with non-Vulcans. No true Vulcan would ever do such a thing, it goes against all we believe in, but some other races would only see the potential for misuse and fear us. Many of those powers have been lost through lack of use, but in the older clans, those that do not marry outside a certain group, the capabilities still exist, even if only in potential form."

T'An broke in, "He is correct, Jim. I could, in theory, control the minds of your bridge crew, but I would never do so. I would rather die, and allow my crew to die with me, before I even considered such a thing. And my crew would support that decision, even though it meant their own deaths, because we consider it a serious crime, a perversion of all that we have become. But, the process the Ambassador is describing is akin to a voluntary mind meld, albeit at a much farther range than most modern Vulcans can achieve. It would indeed be most useful and the Ambassador honors me by his trust and faith in my abilities."

'_As the Commander honors me, in turn,'_ Spock spoke to the presence he felt enter his mind.

'_Go, please, for the sooner you leave the sooner you can return and save my crew.'_

"The Commander is ready when you are, Captain."

"Helm, take us out of here at maximum warp. Follow that course we plotted to swing us in and bring us back within reach of that vulnerable spot."

"Aye Captain."

Kirk turned to the elder Spock, "Tell the Commander we'll return as soon as possible, Spock."

"She hears you Captain, and urges you to hurry. Her deflectors will not hold up long, they were never meant to be used in battle."

Tense moments followed as Spock relayed information from the _ShanaiKahr_ to the _Enterprise_ crew. "Enemy ship within weapons range, still refusing to respond to hails... Weapons powering up... _ShanaiKahr_ conducting evasive maneuvers... Minor hit to the shuttle bay... Evading again."

Kirk spoke up, "We are six minutes from return to her location, Spock, can she hold out that long?"

The younger Spock corrected, "We are five point six minutes away, Captain, and will enter at the coordinates we discussed."

"T'An reports that the aliens seem to be toying with the _ShanaiKahr_, Captain. They could have destroyed the ship by now, but are inflicting only minor damage. She will be four point eight kilometers from the coordinates you discussed." The Ambassador moved down to the helm and entered the new coordinates.

"We will be there in three point two minutes," Spock told his counterpart.

They all waited tensely for the minutes to pass. It was a risky maneuver, bargaining on a battle plan that depended entirely on a suspected weakness and a projected location, but Jim Kirk hadn't become known galaxy-wide for being an unsuccessful risk taker. His gambles were legendary for working when no one else could have succeeded.

As the _Enterprise_ screamed out of high warp, the alien ship was exactly where they needed her to be. The _ShanaiKahr_ hit full reverse just then, leaving the vulnerable spot on the alien ship wide open for everything they could throw at it. The _Enterprise_ might have been a ship designed for peaceful exploration, but it was fully prepared to defend herself and those unable to defend themselves. As the phasers and photon torpedoes struck the vulnerable spot on the alien ship, a blinding barrage of incalculable destruction, time seemed to slow for a moment and then the ship began to explode.

"Their warp core is compromised, Captain," Spock offered. "I would recommend leaving the area before we become part of the antimatter explosion."

Both ships warped out, moments before the alien ship exploded. The _ShanaiKahr_, slower and far older, was caught up in the edges of the destruction and rocked violently from the massive power. The _Enterprise_, alerted by Ambassador Spock to the danger, warped back towards them and extended her powerful shields to protect them. When they had left that area of space far behind, they dropped out of warp to survey the damage. Several hull breaches were being sealed by emergency crews, but most of the damage seemed minimal.

Sulu spoke up, "Commander, we are registering multiple errors from the coldsleep computers. Personnel on watch are advising that it does not appear to be a glitch this time, the chambers themselves are in danger of failing!"

T'An closed her eyes for a moment. They were so close to Vulcan, but not close enough for her comfort. "Contact the _Enterprise_ and advise them we are starting emergency procedures for waking the crew."

It was a risky gamble to wake so many people all at once, even with the finest and most modern medical facilities available and a full medical team for each sleeper. To wake them here, so far from any additional help, bordered on madness. The odds against saving all of them were astronomical. '5,_178.3 to 1 against_,' her logical Vulcan brain provided for her.

She paused for a moment, nearly overwhelmed by the horror she could not control. She succeeded in pushing it away and decided that even if she could not master that powerful emotion, she would never allow it to her master her. As emergency crews began to beam over from the _Enterprise_ she raced towards the deck where all the healers slept.


	13. Chapter 13

Thirteen

As T'An reached the deck where the healers slept, she heard the distinctive sound of the transporter chiming around her. From what she had learned of the system, it was risky to beam into such close quarters, with so many other lifeforms around, but obviously the crew of the _Enterprise_ felt it was necessary. When she arrived, both Spocks were already analyzing the situation and discussing where the worst problems were manifesting.

"Eight chambers on the deck below us have already started the process to wake up their occupants. The other 292 are in no immediate danger, but the system is compromised enough that it is only a matter of time," Commander Spock reported.

"Doctor McCoy and a medical team are already on that deck, standing by to assist the occupants" provided the elder.

"We should start the revival process here while Doctor McCoy and his team handle the emergencies. The more trained healers we have available, the less problems we should have with waking the rest of the crew."

They donned cold weather gear, as the cabins themselves were kept as cold as possible to assist the coldsleep mechanisms, and each entered a cabin to begin the process. The elder Spock opened his communicator, "Spock to Scott."

"Scotty here, what can I do for ye, Ambassador."

"Could you start warming up the cabins on this level? It will make our task easier if we don't risk hypothermia each time we open a door."

"I've already started bringing up the temperature in those cabins, but it's going to take a while. This is a fine old ship, but it was never meant for such things."

"Understood. Just do the best you can, Scotty...it's always been more than enough in the past, and the future."

The first person on the healer's deck to wake was T'An's sister. As the elder Spock had observed signs of waking he had slapped her lightly, to assist her in ending the healing trance. After a moment, her hand came up and stopped him. "Enough."

She opened her eyes and they widened slightly, seeing a strange Vulcan. But, she kept her composure and merely raised an eyebrow at him. He held his hand up, motioning to her face, "May I? It will be a more efficient way to explain."

She nodded assent, still too frozen and disoriented to speak, and he placed his fingers on the contact points in her face. The exchange took mere moments and by then she had recovered enough to sit up and start stretching, mulling on what she had learned in the process. A human would have taken hours, possibly days, to shake off the effects of an extended coldsleep, but Vulcans were made of different stuff entirely. She was on her feet and in the much warmer corridor by the time the other occupant began to wake.

She cleared her throat, voice rusty from disuse, and spoke, "I will explain what has occurred to he who is my husband if you could start waking others."

Spock inclined his head and moved on to the next chamber.

T'An was melding with another wakened healer when she heard her sister's voice in her mind, '_Sister. All is well with you?'_

_'Yes, and with you?'_

_'Indeed, although there is much to meditate on when there is sufficient time.'_

T'Nal's mindvoice was colored with loss and sorrow, but there was a time for such things and the middle of a life-threatening emergency was not one. T'An spoke again, '_We have cleared out the Shuttle Bay and food and warm clothing is being brought there by the crew of the _Enterprise_ so that we may all meet and talk.'_

_'Not that we need to be in the same room, but it will be good to see everyone's faces again.'_

_'It has been too long, sister, and we have much to discuss.'_

_'Indeed.'_

T'An heard the dry amusement in her sister's voice and wondered at the source, but put it aside as irrelevant until they had time to discuss it. With two weeks left in their journey, there would be plenty of time for such things.

Many hours later, all of the healers and their spouses had been woken, along with the eight crew on the other deck who had been in such danger earlier. The elder Spock leaned heavily against a bulkhead and allowed himself, for just a minute, to give in to the bone-deep weariness he would never show to the world. He was, after all, no longer young.

A quiet voice spoke behind him, "Ambassador Spock?"

He turned and met the eyes of T'An's twin, "How may I assist you, Healer?"

"By getting some rest. We now have a sufficient number to continue waking the crew at a steady pace, one less person will not make a difference... unless that person drops from exhaustion and requires a healer needed elsewhere to assist him."

Spock would have argued, but over a century of friendship with a human healer named McCoy had taught him what the expression in her eyes and the tone of her voice meant, and he knew it would be wasted effort. He suppressed a sigh, part exasperation and part amusement, opened his communicator and requested to be beamed back to the _Enterprise_. The two doctors might come from vastly different worlds, born over six centuries apart, but apparently some things were universal and the two could have trained at the same school for all the difference in their manners.

Several minutes later, McCoy looked up, cocked his head, and said to the woman walking towards him, "Healer T'Nal, it's a pleasure to meet you. I'm..."

"Doctor Leonard McCoy, it is an honor to meet you."

McCoy froze for a moment, wondering if she had melded with T'An and what had been discussed. Did Vulcans talk about their love lives with their sisters, or were they as incredibly private in that as they were in everything else? He found himself blushing and cursed himself for a fool.

"Ambassador Spock thinks highly of you, Doctor, and I look forward to speaking to you further when there is not so much to do."

McCoy let out a breath he didn't realize he'd been holding and smiled at her. "I look forward to that," he said, relieved.

"I do not know your customs, Doctor, so I do not mean to give offense when I say that I look forward to discussing my sister even more than any medical advances I have missed."

He stammered, "I...uh... I'm sorry, what?"

Her lip twitched just a fraction of an inch, '_I'll be damned_,' he thought to himself, '_they are mirror twins, right down to twitching different sides of their lip when they're trying not to smile._'

"Ambassador Spock revealed some interesting news to me that I was not sure of until I saw you. Anyone who could tell I was not my sister with such a brief glance has to be someone who knows her very well, indeed."

He swallowed, hard, not sure what to say, and she inclined her head to him and walked down the corridor, "Until later, Doctor."

"Uh..." McCoy shook his head and turned back to working on another patient, not at all sure he was looking forward to the discussion, but equally certain she wasn't going to let him escape it.

It took three days to wake the entire Vulcan crew. McCoy and the rest of the humans dropped out at various stages within the first 24 hours and returned once they had rested. The Vulcans seemed to need neither sleep nor sustenance. Even the ones who had more difficulty than the others in shaking off the effects of coldsleep seemed to need no more than some hot food and a quick catnap to allow them to work nonstop.

Kirk and McCoy stood in the shuttle bay towards the end of that third day and watched the Vulcan crew moving about, intent on their own tasks, but still all taking the time to nod politely at the two humans as they passed them.

"They're so... focused and intense, Bones."

"I was thinking more along the lines of 'terrifying' but your version sounds better."

"Is this what a ship full of Vulcans is always like?"

"I have no idea, Jim, but can I just tell you how glad I am they're on our side?!"

"I'm glad they're all pacifists, too. Vulcan must have been right out of someone's worst nightmare back when they were focusing all that energy and intensity on killing each other."

"I need a drink to soothe my nerves after just thinking about it. Especially after the Ambassador's little revelation that they could kill with a thought back then."

"Now I need a drink, Bones. A toast to Surak, for focusing all that energy on something other than war and violence, sounds good right about now."

They beamed back over to the _Enterprise_ and, over glasses of Saurian brandy in McCoy's cabin, they continued their discussion.

"Do you think it's the silence that was the most terrifying, Bones?" Because the Vulcans were capable of communicating with each other without communicators, they had decided it was a waste of resources to fabricate any. The _Enterprise_ was already working overtime fabricating enough translators and was running low on supplies.

"I think it was all of it put together... and T'An's sister terrifies me most of all."

"She is pretty focused and direct. When T'An said her sister was the extrovert in the family, I thought she was joking. T'An isn't the least bit reserved, or afraid to speak her mind. I'm not sure why you find her sister terrifying, though."

"We're apparently going to have a _talk_," his friend muttered darkly.

"What was that?"

McCoy sighed, "That first night we started waking them up, T'Nal confronted me in the corridor outside one of the crew's quarters, already knew my name, and told me she looked forward to having a _discussion_ with me."

Kirk tried not to grin, but wasn't very successful, "Isn't her father supposed to have that talk with you, not her sister?"

His friend narrowed his eyes, shot him a dark look and grumbled something under his breath.

"Sorry Bones, but as a doctor you should know that's anatomically impossible."

"And you should know that, as a doctor, I could arrange things so it wasn't," he threatened darkly, draining his glass and pouring another.

Not sure if McCoy was joking or not, but knowing his physical was a week overdue, Kirk kept silent, just in case. If his friend wanted to discuss it further he would. If he didn't, nothing Kirk said would change his mind. He still didn't know the whole story behind McCoy's divorce and they'd been the best of friends for years.

Back on the _ShanaiKahr_, the crew was assembling in the shuttle bay, their various tasks complete and everyone woken without incident. They all took food from the tables provided by the Enterprise and settled to the floor. T'An gazed out over her crew and her eyes warmed. "It has been too long since I saw all your faces before me, my own," she said. "I have much to tell, but first, is all well with each of you?"

All three hundred of them nodded, focused on her intently. If the humans had been there they would have decided that the earlier intensity of the Vulcan crew wasn't half as spooky then as it was now. In a human crew of this size, there would have been whispers, giggles, shuffling of positions to find the most comfortable spot. People would have been slouching comfortably, beckoning to friends and sharing stories while they waited.

The Vulcans were all sitting quietly, backs ramrod straight and legs crossed. All eyes were intent on their commander. Of course, being Vulcans, their brains were just as focused internally on one or more other things, with no outward signs that their focus was not entirely on the woman in front of them. But, a human coming into the room would have found themselves getting a good case of what McCoy called the "heebie jeebies" from the eerily silent intensity.

"Well then, let us begin." T'An grasped the hands of the people on either side, sparing a soft glance at her sister, who was seated on her left. Every other Vulcan in the room repeated the gesture until they were all linked. Telepathic contact from afar was fine when dealing with simple facts of shipboard life and responsibilities, but when complex things needed to be passed on, physical contact was required for deeper melds.

No Vulcan of this current time would ever engage in such a massive group meld, but this crew were all related: family by blood, marriage, and harsh experience. The taboos of such widespread contact did not apply to them and they would have considered it an illogical waste of time to communicate such massive quantities of information any other way. T'An had learned a great deal from her melds with both Spocks and from the research she had conducted on her own since meeting the humans.

It would have taken her days to pass on the information to each of them, even if each of the ones she melded with melded with others in their turn. To pass on the information the way the humans did, through speech and the written word, would have taken years. While such a meld was rare even on the Vulcan of their time, it was something they had started using when they were stranded by the spatial anomaly.

First they had practiced it in smaller family groups and then added groups onto each other until the entire crew could pass on one person's lifetime of experience in a single meld. T'Nal had proposed it when they found themselves so far from home and the idea of sharing experience and knowledge to all was quickly seen as a logical solution to a critical problem. Each had unique skills and experiences and the loss of just one person could have had a devastating effect. It took a lot more thought and effort to use skills learned in such a way, and the person's effort was never quite as effective as the original, but it at least allowed them to function if they had to do so. The logic of it was proven even to the most strongly opposed when their entire Environmental section was killed not long after they melded. Without the group's knowledge of those special skills, they would never have been able to complete the coldsleep chambers and regulate the temperature inside the cabins so effectively.

Back on the _Enterprise_, McCoy's door chimed, "Come in."

Both Spocks stood in the doorway, bemused. They had each taken the route to McCoy's quarters without consulting each other, only to arrive at the same time from different directions. The elder Spock entered first and sat on the remaining chair, while the younger contented himself with standing at ease near him.

"Did y'all plan this or are you going to claim that great minds think alike," McCoy drawled.

Identical eyebrows, one slightly shaggy with age, raised and Kirk forestalled what he knew was going to be a lengthy exchange, although he thought it would be a lot of fun to see how McCoy handled verbal fencing with both Spocks. "I thought you'd both be on the _ShanaiKahr_, gentlemen."

The elder Spock spoke, "T'An asked for some time alone with her crew. We let her know we would be available if she needed to ask us any questions or speak to them."

"Is a starship full of Vulcans always that..."

"Freakishly terrifying?" McCoy interjected.

"Incredibly focused and intense," Kirk corrected.

The younger Spock spoke, "I have never served on a starship crewed entirely by Vulcans, although I would theorize it would be a logical and intellectually stimulating experience. Given the fact that there are so few of us left, I do not believe we will see such a crew again in our lifetime."

His elder spoke, "I did not have the opportunity to serve on the Federation's starship crewed by Vulcans. The crew of the original _Intrepid_ were all killed not long after their first voyage. The second _Intrepid_, also a science vessel, served honorably for many years with an all-Vulcan crew and were responsible for many discoveries and advancements. I served on several joint missions with them over the years."

He continued, admiration evident in his tone, "The crew was indeed, as Jim put it, focused and intense. Vulcan crews do not have the same dissension that humans do, since all behave in the most logical fashion."

"Why didn't you transfer over if it was so much better?" McCoy interjected.

"I did not say it was better, just different. Although, since they did not have any emotional issues to deal with, the ship ran more smoothly and effectively than a human ship would."

"So why didn't you transfer?" the doctor asked again.

"Working on an all-Vulcan ship would have provided a great deal of intellectual stimulation and consistency, but I found that I preferred the challenge of dealing with a human crew, in all its unpredictable, emotional, inconsistencies."

"Didn't want you, did they?" McCoy said, lips twitching.

The younger Spock broke in, "Doctor, there is no cause to insult the Ambassador, I..." he continued in that vein for several minutes, with McCoy baiting him ever further.

The elder Spock finally silenced the younger with a gesture and, eyes glinting with amusement, turned to McCoy, "I have missed our discussions, Bones."

McCoy grinned, "You're welcome, Ambassador."

The elder Spock rose, took his leave, and exited the room, leaving a puzzled Spock and a bemused Kirk to stare at the doctor.

"Bones?"

"Last time he was here, he tried to start one of those discussions with me and I did my best to avoid it, out of respect for his age and experience. That's when I realized he actually enjoyed sharpening his wits on me as much as I enjoy doing it to our Spock."

Spock turned to him, started to speak, and then took his leave as well, gathering his dignity about him as he went. The door closed on the peals of laughter echoing from the room.


	14. Chapter 14

Author's Note: I would like to apologize to everyone for the unforgivably long amount of time it has taken me to write another chapter. All I can say is that real life intruded in a big way and I had neither the energy nor the inclination to be creative. Things are back on track again, though, and I WILL publish the final chapter of this story by the end of the year… I hope! Thank you for your patience and your interest in my little story. Hopefully the ending will live up to your expectations. For now, here's the next chapter…

Fourteen

Kirk materialized onto the _ShanaiKahr's_ bridge and looked around at the Vulcan crew who had taken over again so quickly and efficiently. After another second of watching the silent crew move about, he amended his thoughts, '_Bones is right, it is freakish and it does give me the heebie jeebies. But, a permanent case of goose bumps is worth it to see so many Vulcans in one place!'_

T'An emerged from the room they had been using as an office and came over to him, her expression warmer than she had ever directed at him before, "Jim, I wanted to express my gratitude once again for all you have done for us."

"It was our pleasure, T'An. I'm just grateful we were at the right place and time to find you all."

"As am I," she looked around at her busy crew and her expression warmed even further. Kirk realized that he was looking at a joyous Vulcan. If she'd been human, she would have been laughing & dancing with joy. Kirk supposed she was, but only on the inside, and decided to express a little of that joy for her. He gave a big grin and almost skipped a few steps, then stopped and looked at her with a big, silly grin on his face.

Her lip twitched and she quirked her eyebrow at him, "Yes, indeed," she agreed.

"Have I mentioned how much better I like you ancient Vulcans than your modern cousins?"

"I believe you may have once or twenty-seven times," she agreed dryly.

He laughed aloud for both of them at that point, then turned as her mirror image entered the room. She inclined her head towards him gracefully, "Captain."

"Healer T'Nal, I hope all is well with you and the crew."

"Yes, all have recovered from the effects of coldsleep. Words cannot express how much your people's assistance has meant to us."

"Your sister and I were discussing that very topic just now."

The twins shared a look and Kirk was sure they were exchanging lightning-fast thoughts as well. The whole telepathy thing was starting to freak him out, it was eerie to know that silent conversations about who knew what were taking place all around him. He was looking forward to seeing how the Vulcans of his time would react.

T'Nal turned back to him, "I was just about to beam over to the _Enterprise_ and speak to Doctor McCoy, if you will excuse me."

Kirk stifled a laugh and said, "Of course." He briefly considered warning the good doctor after T'Nal dematerialized, but decided that not only would it be more fun to keep quiet, but also safer for himself. T'Nal didn't strike him as someone who wouldn't figure out that Bones had been warned and by whom.

He broke off his internal musings when he noticed T'An looking at him strangely. "What do you find so amusing, Jim?"

"Ummmm…" he decided to not tell the whole truth and went with the safer route, "I was just wondering how the Vulcans of this time will react to all the silent conversations that go on around here. From what little I know, telepathy just isn't used the same way these days."

"My people have lost a lot of the skills they once had. Some of them are better left buried, but without our ability to quickly and easily meld, and to communicate across some distance, my people would never have been able to survive and reach home again. We may be more discrete about our abilities when we reach the Vulcan colony, but we will not give up that which allowed us to live."

"Good, I'm glad to hear that. Speaking of which, and please tell me if this is an unforgivable intrusion on your privacy, but I was wondering if you had decided what you would do when you reached the colony. About the… unh…"

"Dissenting opinion we hold that caused us to leave Vulcan in the first place?"

"Yes. I don't mean to pry, but I think we're all dying of curiosity to know what you're going to do."

"I have spoken to both Spocks and to my people as well. We will meet in a few days, after all have had time to think about our options, and discuss the situation then. I will be responsible for the final decision, but it would take a great deal for me to go against the majority opinion."

"But you will if you have to, am I right?"

She quirked her eyebrow at him and inclined her head gracefully. "Of course. Just as they will all accept my decisions as final. We will have no dissension in our ranks as some groups might."

She paused and then spoke again, "I have not yet made a final decision, but the more I learn about our modern counterparts, the more strongly I… feel… that they need a little…"

"Shaking up?"

"Indeed. I do not know if our beliefs will take hold in mainstream Vulcan society, but I want to give our people an option for their behavior. We follow Surak's teachings and honor his memory, we just do it in a way that allows us to be more… flexible and open to new experiences."

"More innovative and inventive as well, I think."

"Perhaps," she paused again, her innate honesty warring with her good manners and strong sense of privacy. "Yes, very much so. From what I can see, our people have stagnated. They should have come so much further in the centuries since we left Vulcan. I have meditated on it and spoken to many about it, and believe that adhering strictly to logic has been almost as harmful to my people as adhering strictly to emotion once was."

"That happy medium is a tough place to find, but it seems to work best."

They continued the conversation, touring the ship and greeting the mingled crew of both ships who were working on various things.

Back on the _Enterprise_, T'Nal entered Sickbay and looked around. Her eyes gleamed as she took in all of the technology available and she became lost in contemplation until she noticed McCoy standing on the other side of the room, fidgeting nervously.

"Doctor, forgive the intrusion, I was admiring your Sickbay."

Grateful for what he felt was a reprieve from what he thought she had come to discuss, he brightened and moved towards her. "No apologies necessary, Healer. I'd love to give you a tour if you have the time."

The tour took longer than usual, something else McCoy was grateful for, since T'Nal actually understood what all of the gadgets were for and was interested in learning how to use them. He found himself glancing at her nervously from time to time, though, certain that he was going to get some kind of lecture from a concerned family member of the woman he… his mind froze, not even sure he wanted to think it. If he did, it would only serve to make it real and remind him of how much he would lose when T'An finally had to leave him.

They concluded the tour in his office, where he proffered a cup of herbal tea. He sat down at his desk and fidgeted nervously with his cup of coffee, wishing he had been able to slip in a wee bit of liquid courage. T'Nal watched him for several minutes, her lip twitching occasionally, and then took pity on him, "I am not here to lecture you, Doctor, or to intrude on your privacy."

"Thank G… er, I mean thank you, I appreciate that. And it's Leonard, please…" he left his sentence hanging in the air, hopeful that she would finally tell him what it was he had been dreading since the minute she told him they would soon have a _talk_.

"Please, call me T'Nal. As I said, I am not here to intrude on your privacy. I merely picked up some observations from Ambassador Spock when I melded with him that have since been confirmed by my own observations. All I want to say is that I am so sorry that the current circumstances, and my sister's sense of duty and honor, will not allow her to finally choose a path for her own benefit, rather than what she believes is required of her.

I am sure she has discussed the choices she made, from agreeing to our parents' choice of mate for her, to leaving our homeworld and taking command of the ship when she had neither the inclination nor interest to do either."

She looked at him with compassion gleaming in her eyes. He raised his hand in attempt at the _ta'al_ before giving up and turning it into an offer of a handshake. She extended her hand and he shook it gently before bowing over it like the Southern gentleman he was. Her lip quirked in amusement again, _"Don't you know you shouldn't offer such contact to a touch telepath, Leonard?"_ he heard in his mind. _"It's almost an explicit invitation to come in and make themselves at home."_

He recoiled a bit before sensing her amusement. He then gathered his wits back about him and replied, "No, ma'am, but I have nothing to hide."

"Don't worry, that was a one-way contact, I would never enter uninvited. But I thank you for the courtesy of your offer." She held onto his hand a bit longer and he tried to picture opening his mind to her.

"_Very good, Leonard, that was quite clear. My sister is right and your people do possess the potential for telepathy. She also indicated that your talent ran more towards the potential for empathy and that you would make an excellent Vulcan Healer with the proper training. May I?"_ In his mind he saw a vision of her releasing his hand and raising her fingers to the contact points on his face that he had seen Spock use when he melded with someone. He released her hand and nodded his assent, intrigued by the idea, but equally sad that it was something he would never be able to share with her twin.

She touched the contact points on his face, not really needing to do so, but knowing that it always made people relax to see some sort of ritual procedure followed. He could feel her presence, warm and dry, tinged with amusement and the same kind of regret he could feel.

He could feel her peeling away layers of his mind like an onion. _"I will not trespass on your private thoughts. I wanted only to take a better measure of you as a man. She has indeed met her match in you. That it should come at a time when she should have been free of all obligation but instead feels compelled to bow to an even more compelling and onerous duty is what you humans would call a real heartbreaker."_

He could feel her mental voice tinged with a deep sadness that he knew she would never express in public and tears sprang to his eyes, both for the compassion he could feel from her, as well as from his own sense that the universe was a harsh and fickle bitch. Before he could recover and speak, she gently extricated herself from his mind, took her leave and left.

T'Nal left Sickbay, filled with compassion for the human doctor, but also a little annoyed with her stubborn twin. A marriage between them and a half-Vulcan child or two would make little difference in the grand scheme of things, but she knew that T'An would never see it that way. T'Nal struggled with her Mastery for a bit over that, but quickly put it away as counterproductive.

She knew her sister too well to think that anyone could influence her to make the right decision for her. For T'An, the right decision for her was the decision that was best for the common good. T'Nal believed as strongly as any Vulcan that the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few or the one, but she was as guilty as any of them in occasionally not practicing what she preached. It was one of many ways that she differed from her twin.

T'Nal had been fortunate that the mate her parents wanted her to choose was the same one her heart and head had long known was the one for her. To have one who was mate as well as _t'hy'la_ was a rare blessing. T'Nal's thoughts warmed as they turned to he who was her husband and she sent a fleeting thought down the link they shared. She could feel his answering thought, a query and a caress in one. She sensed he was occupied with other things, though, and didn't initiate deeper contact. Just touching that link within them was enough for now. She freely admitted that if she had been forced to choose, she would have still chosen him against all her family's wishes and no matter the good of her people.

She had never understood how T'An could bear to spend her life with a man she had nothing in common with and who had no hold on her except for that of mutual duty and obligation. He had been a good enough man, but not good enough for her sister. This human healer, though… T'Nal stopped herself from once again going down that path.

If she were human, she would express her emotions loudly and at length, and try to convince her sister of the error of her ways. Being Vulcan, she would do no such thing. It was T'An who must make the choice and so she had done. Even if most would feel it was the wrong choice, it was the only choice her sister was capable of making.

T'Nal's thoughts turned to possibilities for her sister that had a chance of succeeding. _There would be no love, but it must be someone she could respect. Someone capable of providing a child or two, but who had no thoughts towards a deeper bond. T'An has never wanted children, but there would be plenty of room and love in my own house for them if he were not in a position to care for them. _She continued to muse on the topic, as well as several other things, as she walked to the transporter room to return to her ship.

Back on the _ShanaiKahr_ T'An had said her farewells to Kirk and was continuing with her duties, oblivious to the fact that her sister had engaged in any kind of sensitive talk with the man she could not choose. She had so many more demands on her time now that her people were awake that she was able to spend far too little of the precious time they had left with him.

The Vulcan colony was just over a week away and she knew that if she put off their final parting that she might never be able to do so. If she could choose to keep him a part of her life for longer than that, it would make it even more difficult to sever their growing bond. Even though she hadn't opened her mind to him, she could almost feel him in the back of her mind, a warm and welcome presence that she couldn't afford to allow any further in, for it would make it impossible to leave him when the time came. Best to part now, for part they must.

If she couldn't make a clean break of it when they reached the Vulcan colony, she wasn't sure she would ever be able to leave him. She could imagine herself coming up with ever greater and more convoluted excuses to put things off until it was too late to make any other choice. At that point, she would have failed in her duty and she could not allow herself the error of that luxury. Who would have thought that she would find the one man who was perfect for her on another race's starship, far from her home and centuries after her birth? The improbability boggled even her brain when trying to compute the odds of such a thing.


	15. Chapter 15

Fifteen

A few days later, all of the off-duty personnel from both ships gathered together on the _Enterprise_ to share a meal and get to know one another better. The people of T'An's crew mingled far more freely and successfully than a group of their modern counterparts would have done.

Their insatiable Vulcan curiosity overcame their tendency to introversion and led them to try and learn as much as they could about this new people, unknown in their time. They would soon come to learn the same thing their modern counterparts had, that humans were fascinating and frustrating in equal parts. How they had managed to not annihilate themselves long before was a mystery never to be solved. Such a young and enthusiastic species made a perfect counterpoint for the Vulcans' own strengths and weaknesses.

The time was quickly coming when their journey would end. Most looked forward to it, but McCoy and T'An were made ever more aware of how soon they would have to part. They tried not to dwell on it too much, or allow their time together to become bittersweet, but it was difficult not to do so. They took any chance they could to spend time together and McCoy, especially, had come to resent any time they had to spend apart.

In the last day or so he had also found himself resenting anyone else who took up her time, even when he was there as well. He was trying to curb these bitter and useless emotions, but freely admitted to himself that this party was getting on his last nerve. He found himself nearly snarling at the next person who came up to them and stopped himself just before he snapped at Ambassador Spock.

"Ambassador," T'An greeted him respectfully, and McCoy muttered what he hoped sounded like a welcome. It wasn't Spock's fault that T'An was leaving him soon, but damnit, couldn't everyone just leave them alone?

"Commander," the elder Vulcan inclined his head and mirrored her _ta'al_. "Bones, how are you?"

"Just dandy, Spock. You know how I love a good party." McCoy hoped he didn't sound too facetious or bitter when he said that, but Spock knew him, or at least the other universe's version of him, far too well, and raised an eyebrow in query.

"Sorry, Spock, I'm just a little cranky. Nothing personal."

Spock looked at McCoy and then at T'An, "Indeed… Bones, I don't think I'm feeling all that well. Would you mind coming to Sickbay with me?"

McCoy bit back an angry retort about being a doctor not a 24-hour clinic, just as his healer's instincts kicked in, "What's wrong?" He started to take out his medical scanner, but Spock stopped him.

"Perhaps we can continue this discussion in Sickbay?"

McCoy counted to ten, then to ten again, and once more for good measure. He only had a few short days left with T'An and couldn't believe he was going to have to spend them caring for an old… he stopped that thought as Spock continued, "Perhaps the Commander could accompany us?"

"Of course," T'An said graciously, giving McCoy a look that he couldn't quite interpret. He grumbled just a little under his breath and then left the room behind the two Vulcans, grateful that Spock couldn't read his mind from that distance and that T'An had never opened her mind to him, because he was pretty sure that what he was thinking was enough to make even a Vulcan blush.

As they got into the turbolift, Spock asked for the deck where his quarters were located, rather than Sickbay. As McCoy was about to ask what in tarnation was going on, Spock turned to them and said, "I find that I am merely tired, not unwell. Perhaps I will just go to my quarters and rest. I hope I haven't inconvenienced either of you."

"Not at all, Ambassador, "T'An said.

"I think you should come to Sickbay. A man of your age, who has been through what you have, shouldn't take any chances with his health."

"I assure you, Bones, I am well and there is nothing wrong with me," Spock gave him a bemused look.

"I'll be the judge of that. You're an ambassador not a doctor, damnit."

T'An took his elbow and held onto him as he tried to follow Spock out of the turbolift, her Vulcan strength holding him back easily. "Leonard," she said gently, "I am sure the Ambassador will be fine. Perhaps you should go to your quarters and lie down for a while. You sound as if you are the one in need of a nap."

Spock was glad that the turbolift doors closed before they saw his almost-smile. He might be an old man, but at least he could be of some use, even if it was only to give two people a little precious time together.

Back in the turbolift, McCoy was sputtering. He was usually quick to pick up on nuances, but subtle, matchmaking Vulcans were completely beyond his experience. T'An held onto him, her gentle grip like iron, and looked at him with sparkling silver eyes until comprehension slowly took hold of him.

"Oh… a _**nap**_," he said.

"Indeed."

"Well why didn't you say so?" he drew her into his arms and kissed her soundly, releasing her only when the turbolift slid to a stop near his quarters. He swept her up in his arms and carried her out of the 'lift, laughing joyfully for both of them as he went. A startled Ensign goggled at the sight, and McCoy beamed at him and kept walking.

Inside his quarters he set her gently on the bed and drank in the sight of her till she grabbed him by the front of his shirt and pulled him towards her, their mouths hungrily seeking each other. He had never thought to meet a woman who could make him feel this way. He didn't want to finish that thought, but those days it was always in the back of his mind that _this_ might be the last time he did such and such with her or… and that was his last conscious thought for a long time.

Days later, but not enough days for either McCoy or T'An, they drew ever closer to the Vulcan colony which had been named _Halan_, meaning journey or trek. The two said their final goodbyes in the privacy of his quarters, an hour before they were due to come out of warp and enter _Halan's_ solar system. McCoy held her close, as if he could breathe in her very essence and keep it with him for solace in the long years ahead.

"Thank you," her words were muffled, her head buried in the crook of his neck. "I cannot…" her voice broke for a moment before she regained her Mastery, "That you respect me and love me enough to not ask me to reconsider… I…"

He drew her closer, unable to speak, knowing that words would never be enough. For several more minutes he held her like that, but then he loosened his grasp, knowing that if he didn't let her go then and there that he would never do so. She drew his head down for one more long, deep kiss and then she was gone, out the door and out of his life. He sat down on his bunk and wept like a small child, deeply and inconsolably.

T'An had said all but that one, final goodbye earlier in the day, knowing that she would be in no state to retain her composure afterwards. She struggled for calm and achieved it, on the surface at least, by the time she reached the transporter room. She nodded a farewell to the transporter crew and left the _Enterprise_ for the final time, a bittersweet experience at best.

On the bridge of the _ShanaiKahr_, her sister was waiting for her and touched her fingers briefly to T'An's in a gesture used only among close family. She said nothing, merely sent a swift thought of support to her twin, then withdrew the contact and left the bridge. T'An turned to her crew and instructed them to come out of warp and prepare to enter the solar system of their new home.

'_There,' _she thought to herself, _'I have managed to get through the first task I needed to after saying goodbye to him. The first hurdle passed, I know I can go on from there… somehow. What is it the humans say? Ah, yes, today is the first day of the rest of my life… such as it is. '_

She drew her thoughts forcefully from the melancholy and returned to her duty. Duty and honor must comfort and keep her from now on, as love no longer could.

The End


	16. Epilogue

Epilogue

Many, many years later, Admiral Leonard McCoy, Chief of Starfleet Medical, was in his lab, working on an experiment that wasn't going the way he had hoped. The chime on his door sounded and he grumbled to himself at the interruption. "Come!" he spat out forcefully, keeping his eyes on what he was doing. He didn't hear anything and no visitor announced themselves, so he turned, prepared to either chew out someone for lack of manners, or himself for being senile and imagining a door chime.

Instead, he stared in shock, his hand going to his heart. He started to wheeze and cough, then sat down forcefully. A vision from his distant past strode towards him gracefully, her delicate brow furrowed with concern. It was only when she spoke that he realized he was neither hallucinating nor spontaneously time travelling, and that this young vision before him might look like her mother had so many years ago, but her voice was completely different.

"Admiral McCoy, are you well? Forgive me, I didn't think…" her voice trailed off as he held a hand up to stop her. He stilled the shaking in his hand at the same time he regained control of his breathing.

"Don't worry, young lady, I'm fine. You just… startled me."

Her silvery grey eyes, so much like her mother's, shone with compassion, "I should have called ahead to let you know, but I had some free time and made an impulsive decision. Please, if I have…"

He held up his hand again as he stood, "I am glad you did. I've always wondered…" his voice trailed off, not sure how to continue, not even sure which one of T'An's children was standing in front of him, like a vision from his distant past. "I'm sorry, shall we start again? Doctor Leonard McCoy, a pleasure to meet you," he gave a courtly bow, his bones creaking just a little bit as he did so.

"I am T'Len, a Vulcan Healer and soon to be a student at StarFleet Academy. It is I who am pleased to meet you, Doctor McCoy, I have wanted to for many years."

Seeing that he was about to speak, it was she who raised a hand, "I do not wish to intrude or impose, and I will understand if you decide that I am too much of a reminder of what might have been, but I wanted to thank you, and to express my admiration for your work. Stories of you were a major contributing factor to my decision to join StarFleet."

"Stories of me?" his voice cracked a bit, not sure what sort of stories a Vulcan mother would tell her child about a man she had once loved, but had left to marry someone out of duty to her people.

"Yes, indeed, you were the topic of many conversations when the _Enterprise_ crew visited our home over the years. It was not until I was older, and had a conversation with my father, that I understood why you never joined us."

He paled, then reddened, and she continued, "Forgive my bluntness, it is unforgivably rude. But, I feel as if I know you. Even without the stories, I would have wanted to meet the man for whom I was named."

He understood then why the name T'Len had sounded so familiar, and realized that this must be T'An's youngest child. She had two older brothers and an older sister, two sets of twins, but he had tried very hard over the years not to learn too much, nor even to think too much, about T'An and her family.

He was about to speak when the door chimed again. A young Vulcan male stood there, nearly an identical copy of his father, save for his eyes, which were silvery grey like his mother's and sister's.

"Well, it never rains but it pours," McCoy muttered to himself, then, "Come in, son, come in, it seems your sister beat you to it by a few minutes."

The young man quirked his eyebrow at him and entered, "Forgive me, Admiral McCoy, but I had some free time and wanted to meet you. It appears that my sister had the same thought. I am Selen, a scientist and soon to be a cadet at StarFleet Academy."

The young man walked into the room and stood next to his sister, raising his hand in the _ta'al_. His black hair, cut so like his father's own, shone in the lights from the ceiling. McCoy smiled at him, not even bothering with the Vulcan salute, and said gently, "It's very nice to meet both of you. Please accept my condolences for the loss of your father. He was a great man and is deeply missed."

"We thank you for your sentiment. He lived a long and worthy life, Doctor. While his absence is felt in our lives, he was very ill by the end and it was a welcome release for him."

McCoy was about to ask if any other family members were in San Francisco, afraid to even mention their mother's name for fear of losing control of his emotions completely, when the door chimed again. The twins turned to each other, "Sojak and T'Jam," they chorused. Selen turned to McCoy, "Forgive us, Admiral McCoy, but it appears that our elder siblings may have had the same impulsive urge to visit you while we were in town."

McCoy sat down, his knees weak. A group of cows was a herd, geese was a flock, so what the hell was a plethora of Vulcans called? He realized that he sounded a little hysterical, even in his own mind, and tried to get a better grip on his emotions. The door opened to admit two more Vulcans, several years older than their siblings. Both had their mother's hair and father's eyes, identical twins, as opposed to the fraternal ones standing somewhat shamefacedly near him. He found himself trying to work out the genetic odds of their particular features cropping up in that combination and found it soothed and occupied him enough to still his shaking hands and addled wits again.

"Come in, come in, the more the merrier," he said heartily. The two newcomers greeted him and exchanged bemused looks with their younger siblings. Sojak spoke, "Forgive our intrusion, Admiral McCoy, but curiosity is an emotion to which even the most logical of Vulcans will admit, and we have all been curious about you since we were very young."

"No forgiveness necessary, I guess it was past time that I met all of you. Have you come to join StarFleet too?"

T'Jam replied, "No, we are merely here for a visit and to get our siblings settled in to the Academy. I am an engineer, working on Vulcan with my husband, who is also an engineer."

"I am a Healer. I work with my aunt at her clinic near our home."

"How is T'Nal? I haven't seen her since that conference twenty years ago on Andor."

"She is well and sends her greetings. She and our uncle have adopted three orphans and have their hands full raising them, otherwise she would have been here."

"A real family trip, then?" McCoy said, trying to quell the rising, panicky hope within himself.

"Indeed. Our mother was meeting our uncle for a tour of the new _Enterprise_," T'Len said.

"Ah, I always wondered what you decided to call him," McCoy babbled. "How is Captain Spock?"

Four identical eyebrows rose, "What else would we call the man who has the same parents as our father?" enquired T'Len.

"Well, when that man is the same man as your father, only a lot younger and from a different universe I… well, I suppose a logical Vulcan might not see it as odd, but I certainly did."

T'Len spoke again, "We always considered him our uncle. Any other improbabilities posed by time travel were irrelevant. But, I can see where it would be an interesting puzzle to work through, especially for one who did not grow up thinking of the elder Spock as 'Father' and the younger as "Uncle'."

McCoy tried not to think too hard about T'An's marriage to the elder Spock. He had spent too many years alternately (and privately) cursing 'that dirty damned old man' and himself for thinking such things. As the younger Spock had once tried to explain it, it was perfectly logical. The two had worked together to integrate the _ShanaiKahr's_ crew into Vulcan society and come to know each other during that time.

A year after the _ShanaiKahr's_ crew returned, they married. McCoy had never asked, but had gleaned from hints dropped by others, especially Jim Kirk, that the marriage was one of friends and partners, but romantic love had never been a factor. They had both succumbed to pressure from family, and their own sense of duty, to help ensure that Vulcans did not become extinct.

The marriage lasted many years, Spock having lived longer than most ever thought he would. He had died at a venerable old age just over a year ago. Everyone from the original crew of the _Enterprise_, except McCoy, had travelled to Vulcan for the funeral. Even Jim Kirk, who was currently an "Admiral-At-Large" and had been off on a deep-space exploration in an experimental vessel, had come back for it.

Jim had been the only one who even dared bring up the subject, in the hope that enough time had passed for McCoy to go and show his respects to a man he truly had respected. He had considered it, but as soon as he thought about what a small, petty, selfish, pathetic little old man he would seem to be if he rushed to her side before her husband's body was even cold… if she wanted to see him at all after all these years, and chose not to go. In the end, he sent a message, not even a vid, but an actual letter of condolence, and buried himself in his work again.

McCoy spoke to T'An's children, trying not to think of how they might be different if they had been his children as well. That road was long past him, and had never been a path he could have travelled, except in his wildest imaginings. He had lived a good life, one that he hoped to continue for many years. He had his friends and his work, and that was enough. If, in his darkest moments he dwelled on how it really wasn't anywhere near enough, he soon pulled himself out of that deep, dark hole and busied himself with some other project.

He had just about got up the courage to say their mother's name, and ask about her, when the door chimed again. His heart clenched in a wild surge of hope and fear, and he turned to the door as it opened. She stood before him, a little silver in her hair to match the light in her eyes, but unchanged save for a few more lines in her face. Her children straightened guiltily and turned to her.

"Leonard," she said, that much-loved and long-remembered voice sounding more beautiful to his ears than it ever had.

"T'An…" he found he couldn't continue, his throat so choked with emotion that he was having trouble breathing. He sat down and tried to regain control once again. She quirked a maternal eyebrow at her children and they took their leave quickly and filed gracefully out.

She took a few steps towards him, then stopped, as unsure of herself as she had ever been. "I had intended to visit you and see if you would like to meet my children, but it seems they had other ideas. Forgive me if they intruded, but my sister raised them for the most part, while I was working, and they seem to have absorbed her particular brand of bluntness through some sort of osmosis. As young children it was sweet and amusing, but I don't find it nearly as cute now that they are fully grown."

"No, I'm glad they came. I should have met them years ago, but…"

"Leonard…" her eyes glistened with unshed tears and in moments she was kneeling by his side with a fluid grace that Vulcans seemed to keep no matter their age. She rested her head on his knee, as she had done so many years before in the privacy of his cabin, and his hand stroked her hair, trembling a little as it did so.

There were no more words between them for some time. They merely sat and absorbed each other's presence, as if it could make up for all the years they had lost.

Time passed and they began to speak, of what they had been doing and of their families. McCoy had a daughter named Joanna, who he hadn't even known about until she was an adult. His ex-wife had never told him she was pregnant when she left him, and had passed Joanna off as her new husband's child for many years. It wasn't until McCoy's ex-wife had died and the man who thought he was Joanna's father had become ill that the truth was finally revealed.

McCoy had spent a lot of time in the last ten years getting to know Joanna, who was also a doctor, and tried hard not to resent all the years he had missed out on with her. It was just one more reason to hate the woman he had once loved, and there were already so many of those that he didn't really need another.

T'An and McCoy both knew that they could never make up for all the years that they lost, that it was counterproductive to try. Neither had any expectations of starting up where they left off, but it felt as if they were doing just that. Minus the wrinkles and grey, they could have been parted for days, not decades, so seamlessly did they fall back into the warm and easy relationship they once had.

McCoy tried to bring up his age and what he referred to as his 'advancing decreptitude' but she brushed off his fears with a wave of her hand, "If you want to talk about age, Leonard, I was born more than six centuries before you were, I seem to be robbing the cradle."

He laughed and kissed her, then took her hand and led her out of his office. He intended to bring her out to dinner and court her in the way he had always wanted, but had never had the luxury of time to do. After so many years apart, and after what she felt was a decent period of time for the elder Spock, she had other ideas and brought him back to his apartment instead.

There are many things that could be said about what happened next, but all that truly needs saying is that she opened her mind and heart to him as she had wanted to do for so long, and it was even more amazing and wonderful than either had ever dreamed.

They spent all their remaining years together, never parting for more than a few hours at a time. When advanced old age finally took him to his eternal rest, it took her as well. They were found the next morning held in each other's arms, identical expressions of peace on their faces, having gone to sleep one night and been spared the heartbreak of waking to find the other half of their heart and soul passed on before the other.

The End…?

***Author's Note: Thank you all so much for reading and reviewing, I hope you enjoyed it even half as much as I did!


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